If you have faith in god like yu say. why cant you see this is god will that you found out he was cheating and is not the one for you. Were you really happy in that marriage ?? I have finally opened my eyes to what i had with my stbx and i realize now he made fralse promised and my foolishness wa beleiving them. I use to pray every night for my marriage then when i found out he had been cheating for more then 2 year one of my friends said to me god finally answered your prayers about my marriage.I was married 30 years and right now am 55. I only wish i was 45 right now i waited an extra 10 years. Please dont waste yours!!! You didnt loose anything.. You gained self back and all the oppurtunities to explore and find that happily ever after whatever that means to you for self no one else . I am on a mission to find happily ever after for me no one else. If that means alone so be it, but i will be happy. I will have love and peace in my soul.. Stop mourning what you lost and start looking at what you have gained and all the thing out there you havent even explored yet. You are woman and its time to exersize your roar. God did not bulid you to break. So its time to dust yourself off and feel the warm of the sunshine. Start beeming !!!!
love and peace

I think it's scary to think about dating again and being intimate with someone new, but at the same time, the emotion you feel in your heart tells you that you're NOT DEAD and that is good. :) That means that you have lots of love to give, and God will bring someone new into your world who will want and need your love and care. Think of the positive things that may happen right around the corner. I tend to think that marriage is wonderful when it works but for so many of us it doesn't last an eternity. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe that's reality. So many people stay in marriages that are not happy and are not working, and what a waste of life that would be...

Big hug to you today!

The grace of God will not lead you where the grace of God cannot protect you. My favourite line. I have faith that one day someone will enter my life and I can actually be happy with. If that is not in God's plan, so be it. I am going to take it one day at a time. For we only have today. Not tomorrow or even 5 minutes from now.

I'm sorry for your loss. This is truly a situation that affects a person on so many levels.

Don't be too hard on yourself. With time, I hope you are able to open up to the idea of finding another man. And if you don't ever feel that way, then I hope you find peace and happiness in this next part of your life.

If you are not ready to date, then don't. You have to be ready in heart, mind, and soul.

I know how you feel though. Sometimes, when I am alone and lonely, I think of my ex and feel like I have lost, but then I remember that he was a lying cheater who verbally abused me for years. Then I remember that I had the real victory.

At this point in your life, take time to make new friends and do things you enjoy.

Sending hugs!

Yes, its hard to think about dating someone or being intimate with another person when we have been married for so long....but these ex-spouses of ours sure didn't have a problem with that-- did they?

No clarendon4. They didn't have a problem at all. I have been separated/divorced for 2 1/2 years. I tried the online dating thing. Went to coffee with one. The end. Went to lunch with no 2. the end. Went to dinner with no 3 . the end. No 4 - we just became friends. That was the beginning of last year. since then I have decided I'm not emotinally ready for a relationship and I can't see one in the future either. So I work hard and try to remain busy on the weekends. Just counting my blessings and hoping a bolt of lightning or a miracle will happen without me trying or doing that dating thing again. One day at a time.

I know exactly how you feel. I was with my X for 30 years and I have never been with another man either. You'll be OK. Just try to open yourself up to the possibility of dating again. It doesn't mean that you have to be intimate - it's just a date. You might be surprised at how pretty and feminine you feel and it could change the way you are thinking right now. Put your X in your archives - file him away and give it and yourself a shot. You have nothing to lose. You'll have a fun evening, some good company and get to dress up for a change.

I say try it - you might like it :)

(((Hugs)))

So sorry you are having a problem moving into the dating waters. For sure, the ex's moved on! In some of the cases, if we had left them first, they would be the ones on here! At any rate, I dreaded dating after our split. I knew, though, that sticking with the same pattern of retreating into whatever was on tv or the internet to escape wasn't exactly healthy, either. I dated 2x, then met a man right after my 2nd date. We were together over a year. He helped me a lot, but yes, I was hurt by him. He sure helped me get the ghost of my ex out of my mind! Still, I have yet to go out and feel like I don't need to right now anyway, until I get my life on a more stable note, which I'm hoping will happen this year. What I am saying is that sometimes we have to go outside our comfort zone, use common sense and take a chance on someone. Go slowly. I can't say that enough. Things should be on your terms and you shouldn't do things you aren't ready to do...don't be the caretaker.Don't be the mommy. Understand that at our age, we all have some baggage. It would be a good idea to read some books on this topic. Hang in there and I hope you try.