Maybe ex wants you back. : )

Only you can put a stop to the abuse your neighbor is giving you. If you help someone out (driving them to appointments, shopping etc.) they have no right to expect if from you unless they pay you. Neighbor can call a cab. He is being a jerk because he does not you are not married to the EX anymore.

As far as your ex and the snow-blowing...again, he's being a jerk and trying to stir up trouble. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. If it were me, I would ignore him and pretend it doesn't bother me. Bully's do it for a reaction...no reaction...no fun. But this is your BF so you have no control over it. Sorry

My neighbor isn't giving me abuse, he's just speaking his mind about my ex and what he promised and never delivered.

I work with older people, I know their demeanor, and try to understand them.

Maybe ex wants me back, my boyfriend has joked about it, it's not going to happen. My neighbors joke constantly that ex wants me back. Never going to happen!

See, having a guy on here does help some times. : )

First you need to explain to your neighbor that you don't mind helping him but you won't fill in for something the ex was to do. Your ex is controlling by not doing what he promised the neighbor because he knows you will step up. He's either trying to get your attention or just wreck your day.

There's not much you can do about the snow blowing. If you respond you give him what he wants. Even bad attention is attention he wants.

The weird email was his way of trying to get you to reply. Don't do it.

Your ex probably always said he would help then didn't because he knew you would do it for him. Stop going behind him and fixing his mess ups.

I know how hard that is to do. I was still helping the ex at the start of the divorce because he was overseas. He had never paid the bills; I did that. Then his plane left late and he waited to send me a text. I checked his cell acct. He sent texts to three more people at the same time. He was in Tx at the time. Two of them were women. I didn't even bother to reply. I turned the bills over to him and quit playing into his game.

People can only take advantage of you IF YOU ALLOW IT! As others have said, you need to make it perfectly clear to the neighbor that you are NO LONGER MARRIED to the schlub who makes promises and that you can not and WILL NOT pick up the slack for him anymore. And while you're at it, you might also tell them IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that you don't want to hear ANYTHING about the X. Period.

Thanks for your replies. Somehow I can't get across the ex stuff.

julchur:
The NEXT time the neighbor puts you on the spot, simply put your hand up and say "STOP! I am not responsible for anything the X tells you he is going to nor am I interested in hearing anything about him!" Then WALK AWAY. Sooner or later, the neighbor will get the message.

Like I said earlier, people can only take advantage of you IF you ALLOW them to.

The twist in the situation is, ex painted me as this psychotic b**** to the neighbors, most of which knew me since I moved In when I was 12. I have always been painfully shy and private, which gets taken as stuck up. I also have the intellect to overcome this, and forge into the unknown.

Ex is a total extrovert, a peacock showing his feathers. Promises the world, delivers nothing, or maybe 1/4 of something done.

So, after the divorce, I did things for him and his wife. His wife was ill, so I would visit a few times a week to talk with her. I was the 3rd person he called when she passed in her sleep.

My professional career was a corporate executive, my passion was child and elderly assistance with my Psychology degree.

Anyway, it's taken 5 years for my neighbor to wake up that I'm not this psychotic person.

He realized, lately, ex never came to see his wife.

He now can drive, do things. He also has a great network of friends, who help him. He thought ex was one of them. He also thought I was someone unreliable. Seems the opposite.

After my boyfriends response back to ex, and what has gone on with neighbor, ex has backed off on me.

I don't really care about ex. I'm happy, I'm glad to help my neighbors, and I'm looking into a Sr. helping team through a social work friend of mine.

I'm happiest helping others.

Well, just remember: What X says about you says more about him than it does about you! Talk is cheap. I never let it bother me because some people just love to gossip!

Thanks CowgirlKathi, I do go by what people think of me, now and then. Ex had me on this string.. I couldn't talk with a neighbor without him telling me to get home. I really think he thought I'd let them know I'm a caring person. He had this 'whatever' going on, and I just fed into it, because then he'd become abusive.

The best thing I did was divorce him!