The most important is that you made the call. AND remember, your time frame is not always someone elses, so you have been thinking about doing this for awhile, but they don't know that! It is not uncommon for a therapist to call you if this is a first appointment, or the office will ask you for a brief reason for why you are coming in.. Divorce usually covers it. we tend to want things in our time frame, and the first rule of divorce.. be calm, and try patience! This did not happen over night, it will not be fixed over night. BIG HUG for making the call.

As to picking up the ex's bad procrastination... you compliment and enable each other in any marriage, good or bad. Try and not think like that, try and own your own feelings and habits. As human beings, we can change outselves. Aim for progress, not perfection!

You took that first step. You just had to be sure, that is all. as Ms Terey said it perfectly. We are human not some super hero.

I'm relieved that you made the call. This is a big step toward recovering from this traumatic change in your life and I commend you! Please keep in touch and let us know how it goes.

You made the call and that is huge. Therapy is a wonderful help and I hope the therapist you see can help you. If not, don't hesitate to switch because sometimes it takes a little digging to find the right person. My therapist is a former nurse so she's perfect for me. She helped me through my struggles with RA, divorce, professional challenges - love that woman!

Thanks everyone.. I so appreciate all the support. You all have such great wisdom. I'm so lucky to have found this place! I hope that one day I will be able to be as supportive of those who will come behind me as you have been to me.

This is a decision you wont regret. My best friend is a qualified therapist and I really dont know how I would have made it without her especially during my first divorce. A good therapist is worth there weight in gold. Good for you that you called...Big Hugs...Kathy

Good for you~! I have yet to set up my therapist appointments. I get 3 of them. Now that I have regular spousal arriving, then I can afford the gas to go! Hugs to you :)

Good for you. You'll be surprised how much talking to someone unbiased helps. She will give you the tools you need to grieve and move on a happier and healthier you. You have to find yourself again after 30 years of taking care of someone else. Find the things that make your heart happy. Your strong and read, read, read. It will help you through this. 30 years is a very long time and it won't happen overnight, but with help it will get a little bit better every day.

oh it sounds wonderful...good job....hoping to do the same for myself...just the $$$$ and time thing....but it will all come together at some point

Therapy has been good for me. The junk from the divorce is almost done.I still see my therapist. He recognizes now that my life is without a lot of people in it so he lets me continue therapy.

Today we talked about a lot of different things. Mainly that I need a pistol loaded with snake shot for the rattlesnake I saw on the farm several days ago. The ex is seldom mentioned. I really should cut myself loose but I enjoy my once a month talk with him. I can say whatever I want on any subject. I don't have to be tactful and worry about losing clients. He still gives me suggestions that I find useful.

Yorkie, I am over FOUR YEARS post divorce and I still see my therapist for "tune-ups" -- I would stay in therapy my whole life if I could afford it. Like Trisha said, it's a wonderful thing to have an objective party available to listen and help you work through ideas, frustrations and even everyday issues.

So... how long do you wait for a return phone call??? Like it wasn't hard enough to leave that first message. Guess I'll try one more time - then move on to the next one on the list. Maybe she's on vacation... maybe it's a sign she wouldn't be a good fit..... On top of that, the attorney put me off for another week too... good grief...

Yorkieluvr:
Beginning RIGHT NOW, you become YOUR OWN BEST ADVOCATE! If you have not received a return phone call, CALL AGAIN and leave in your message (if no warm, human being answers) that you have already called once and NEED TO make an appointment as soon as possible! At the same time, call another therapist. The most important thing is to keep moving forward. Forget these "signs" -- they are nothing but excuses that your mind wants to make to NOT move forward.

As to the attorney, I'm unsure as to "putting you off for another week" means. Is this an attorney you have retained or just have an initial appointment with? I am certain there are plenty of good family law attorneys in your area who give free consultations or who would be able to handle your case. MAKE SOME MORE PHONE CALLS! Be TENATIOUS! You will find that the wheels of justice turn slowly at best, so the sooner you light a fire under your own butt, the sooner you will make some forward progress!

JUST DO IT!

As to the attorney - it's an initial appointment and unfortunately no one around here does anything for free....I've called around - each one is $150 and this will be number 2. But I'm determined to keep trying! Thanks!