Time. Distance. Continued no contact.
It's always the UNEXPECTED that gets to you -- believe me, I have been there and done that.
You did the exactly right thing by ignoring him and keeping on to where you were going.
This is not a sign of weakness and it is perfectly understandable that you had a post-traumatic stress reaction.
Time. Distance. Continued no contact.

Shorty--You did great!!! Boy do I understand what you are talking about. I remember thinking in the beginning that if I saw him out and about I would just die (might still if I ever see him with her). I also practice the no contact rule and it really does help with the day to day functioning but I believe it does not do much more than a bandaid for the emotional steps necessary for getting to the being indifferent. towards the x's which is my goal. I am very proud of you for being able to face the "stare down" and ignoring him. I know you wanted to fall apart, believe me i have felt that way and I HAVE fallen apart. It is all part of living life and dealing with where we are in present day. I have wasted many hours of my life worring/wondering about how he feels, thinks and what he does. I was so obcessed with this in the beginning that it controlled my life and my thoughts were always about how happy he was and how miserable I was, then my sister spent alot of time reminding me / encouraging me to think about my stbx in another light. She helped me to see that he just might be laying in his bed at night feeling lonely and sad about where his life has journeyed. yes he wanted out of the marriage, yes he has been having an affair but he has suffered a great loss of family, comforts of home and loss of his reputation now that everyone knows about the affair. Thinking about him from this perspective helped me have the courage to face him without the gut wrenching emotions you are feeling. I know I can hold my head up-I did not ask for all this he did. Someone said once that our hearts will mend but they will have to live the guilt forever. so you did a great thing by being able to show him that you can not just ignore him but that he can and has become invisable to you. Believe me that had to of made him think about what has happened to his power over you. Mark one for the good guys!!! Great Job!!! Keep on working through all this mess, I have to believe that it is worth it in the end. Very proud of your courage.

I spoke to my therapist about this, since I did have an "unexpected sighting" recently.

My therapist said that the panic will happen. It will not disappear immediately just because the divorce is final.

The important thing is not to get caught up in the panic to the point where it takes over. I have to recognize that I am in a panic, try to find a private place (bathroom stalls are good, if you can't get to your car) practice deep breathing to prevent hyperventilating, and go over all my affirmations. I keep a list of affirmations at home and another list in my wallet. These are some of mine. Many are from our friends at DS:

Aim for progress, not perfection
Breathe
It's good to have another opportunity to be strong, focus, and get rid of the fantasy that he and I could be friends
Breathe
I am strong; I can get through this
Breathe
I am in charge of MY emotions
Breathe
I will NOT let him rent any more space in my head
Breathe

I have lots more affirmations, but I can't expect the panic to magically disappear. It's a process and it takes time, darn it! I wish there was a magic pill to make us immune to any feelings about our stbx's and exes, but until scientists come up with that, we have to work at this constantly.

I had a slip recently, when I thought maybe the stbx and I could actually discuss an issue, and, thank goodness, my friends at DS were right there for me and able to help me snap out of that fantasy.

You are doing all the right things, NO CONTACT being the most important. It did set me back a bit, having that contact, but I'm back on track now, and so are you, even if you don't feel it right now.

I'm proud of you, and I hope you are proud of yourself for posting here after your accidental sighting, and not contacting him.

Stay strong. Things will get better, just not as quickly as we would like them to.

((HUGS))

You did great ! The ole fake it till you make it. I am sure it did effect you and I am sorry you have to go through it but it is a positive action and strength you are gaining. You did not take his bait. You was with him forever, like the rest of us and you are entitled to have a react but not to show him . The rest will come in time.{{{HUGS}}}

Thanks guys--You helped a bunch. I guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

I'm not a big fan of that old saying about 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger' but I DO believe that God only wants what is best for us! And NO PAIN, NO GAIN. You did just fine, Shorty, and give yourself a big pat on the back and a gold star on your progress chart. You did the right thing...and by letting your supporters here know you were having a bad time, you got all the love and support you needed! Keep up the good work!

Hey Shorty...you did great. I think..under the circumstances you couldnt possibly react any different than you did. I have not been tested yet and I can only imagine what my reactions will be. I hope Im as composed as you. Big Hugs and keep doing great...Kathy

Oh, yeah, I remember those. When this first started over two years ago, there were actually several times that I saw her out and about. It blew my mind because the chances of this happening were infinitesimal. I mean, sure, once... but several? And.... well, nevermind.

I remember the grip in my chest. Like someone grabbed my heart and squeezed. Then it would set off pounding and pumping blood so hard that I thought I was about to pass out. I just remember that I did anything I could to calm myself. It took a while.

Now, I have no idea how I would feel if I saw her, much less spoke to her. Or what I would say. But, I am at the point that I don't care. I know that there will still be some tightening of the chest. But I know that it is normal.

You did very well. It does get easier.

Thanks puter. I was convinced that men had no real emotions just functioned through life not looking back unles it was to wreak havoc. My experience here and at my live support group have shown me otherwise.
Thanks everyone--I loveyou all! C

Keep on keeping on. GOOD FOR YOU -- it's just one foot in front of the other. So glad you've got folks around to support you. Who knows what he thought (and you seem at a point where you know that in moving forward -- it may not matter either). No contact -- great. Proud of you.