I'm not divorced yet but when i am i will have my eyes open everywhere i go! If I don't meet anyone the old fashioned way i will go online to eharmony more than likely <3
I should add i have not lived with my stbx(someday to be ex)in many years now :)

Don't have a SO. Most of my dates have online.

Started dating about three months after divorce was final. Dated two losers in a six month period and then took a nearly two-year dating break to learn about myself and why I was attracting losers. Feeling much stronger and more in control now and saying NO to lots of losers now.

I think about it, but I know I'm not ready. Curiously, friends and family both talk about setting me up with someone, when will I start dating etc. It's almost like the separation 'drama' is old hat now....so move on to my dating life. Scarey. I believe in love still, but I will never marry again. Never.

I haven't had a SO yet so I am probably not the person to ask. I have had dates. I did the Chemistry.com thing in Idaho and strangely enough it must be a regional thing because there were hardly any matches when I moved to WV and I notice it isn't advertised here much. So I did the Christian mingle.com thing. I've had a few dates from that (nothing too exciting). I'm not sure when I will get serious about dating but 2 years into it, I just haven't gotten into it yet. I'm waiting to hear the responses to this myself.

Sorry....I can't be of any help either - haven't started dating yet so I'm FAR away from a SO.

This is a very good subject though. I'm curious to see responses as well.

I am soooo glad to read from some of you that you recognize it being too early for you to seek out a SO/spouse!

REBOUND relationships are DEFINATELY NOT the way to go! Been there, done that and was set back so far I thought I'd go back to the beginning. EWWWW.

But most of you have read my post Who I am not and who I am...so you know that story...if you haven't, I HIGHLY suggest you do so cause it is pretty candid about what happens through the past two years and how it really can affect ya'all in the long run....I just can't put it here again...it was very draining to write the first time. I will though, if it will help ANYONE in this process.

Just make SURE you are TRULY ready to share your thoughts and feelings and wants and needs and desires in a candid manner, that you TRULY trust the person you think you want to see....and EVEN if you THINK you are ready, you may not be....BE SURE. If you can't TELL someone what you want from life, what you want to accomplish, what YOU dream, what YOU desire and need, where YOU want to be in the future.....then you probably aren't ready to SHARE that future. Cause if you don't know yourself, then how the heck is someone else supposed to know?

My divorce was final on March 15, 2007. It had taken 18 Months of Hell to divorce the lying, cheating mongrel, but I went into and stayed in therapy for that entire period; figuring out what happened and a lot of good stuff about myself.

In late April that same year, a good friend gave me a gift subscription to eHarmony. I signed up for the service after reading "Date or Soul Mate" by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D,. who is the founder of eHarmony. In two months, I had over 200 potential matches; after going through all the Guided Communication Steps, there were only a handful that I was really interested in and never did make the effort to meet them in person, but we had talked on the phone and emailed quite a bit. None of them lived nearby, either, not that distance was an issue for me; I just didn't feel interested enough to make the effort.

Then, on July 14, WHAM! A new match came up -- and it was Tom from Keedysville, MD -- just 40 miles away! We communicated via eHarmony's mail server, telephone and direct email for 6 full weeks before we both felt comfortable enough to meet in person. The rest is history!

It's hard to believe that it has been nearly 5 years since we met already! We work on this relationship all the time to keep it healthy and we both employ everything we learned from our failed marriages. Both of us were married 25 years and it ended badly for both of us (although there was no cheating in Tom's former marriage, it was clearly a case of emotional incompatibiity). It has been so important to us to KNOW and keep in mind all the areas in which we screwed up before, so that we don't make the same mistakes again.

At the same time, we are both REALISTS and know that we cannot read each others' minds. We are mindful of each other and always try to SPEAK FROM OUR HEARTS -- not just to each other, but with everyone who is close to us. HONESTY is the key. No relationship is without challenges, but if you are willing to treat it like the living, breathing thing it is (and feed and exercise it regularly) it can be a truly rewarding and HEALTHY relationship! Good luck to you.

Thanks for all of your great responses. I hope more of you will continue to post your new life/love stories. Hearing how others have thrived after divorce (whether in a relationship or not) gives me, a newbie, a positive perspective on being divorced.

Several of my divorced friends found their new SO on eharmony and match.com. I can't imagine ever trusting anyone again, but it is heartening to see people happy again.

It will be 2 yrs next month for me. My cheating spouse took off to florida to be with his girlfriend from 22 yrs ago. I actually knew the man i am with now years ago. I know his family and i know him too. As teenagers i got married and so did he. i lived in NY and he married and moved to Georgia. I never saw him again or 24 yrs. When my spouse left me he was going thru the same ordeal in Georgia with his wife. His sister was a wonderful help and encouragement in my life as i dealt with the sudden separation. He separated from his wife and came back to NJ and lives with his parents. His sister had me over her house one day and he came over to visit his sister and there I was. We chatted about our situations and exchanged phone numbers. I am divorced and he is in process. We are together now and lets see what happens.

I am always in awe of those who go through long marriages and horrid divorces and end up with loves from the past. It seems that we never forget the ones we were attracted to when we were young.

I often think of two boys I had crushes on in primary school, and that's not only since my divorce. I have always thought about them.

Someone who asked me to go out with him when I was 14, has been in contact with me since the divorce. He obviously has always thought about me. Unfortunately, he still isn't the one for me, but he's another example of this fond memory of old loves.

My niece has recently engaged to the brother of her girlfriend from childhood. They deliberately didn't pursue their attraction in years past because they didn't want to mess up the girls' friendship in case it didn't work out. Here they are, years down the track, and they've finally given in to the love that's always been there.

If nothing else, it's proof that there is more than one possible "mr right" out there.

Good luck with your new love, RB.

love and hugs
kamary