Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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cmonge 12/14/2013

Crappy day!!! Guy I've been seeing albeit briefly (3 weeks). Suddenly cuts off contact, find out yet another cheating incident about my soon to be ex, and then I got to a holiday party at a dear friends house. She introduces newcomers to the crowd, by saying "marys with joe, Cindy's with bob, etc. ". Needless to say, I kind of shrunk into the woodwork as I realized I was the inly single person there. It's like we are less of a whole person. Then they started up a game of charades that involved couples, and I couldn't get my coat and get out of there quickly enough. I sobbed all the way home. I hope to get through this holiday season in one piece.

kamary 12/14/2013

I'm sorry, cmonge. People who haven't been in our shoes don't seem to understand how difficult it is to get out, let alone deal with their insensitivity. I'm sure your friend wasn't being like that deliberately. It still hurts, though, and I would have left in tears, too. I've even felt left out at family things, especially if there's an odd number there and I end up on the end of the table. Not much fun.

Don't give up trying to go to things when you're invited, though. Sometimes it works out ok.

I find that I don't get a lot of invitations as a single, so I've started my own little single ladies group playing scrabble. The first night, we opened the scrabble box at 630, then started talking, and finally put the unused scrabble away at 1130!!

love and hugs
kamary

PsiChi 12/15/2013

I feel your pain. I've really been struggling with this myself also. While I have the support of most of our circle of friends, being suddenly single amonst them has proven uncomfortable for all of us. So, I've learned to "take a friend"....usually another girlfriend, to social get togethers. 1. I don't have to walk in alone. 2. If there are "couple situations" like this, I'm covered. 3. My other single friends get to go out too! Its win win win.

But yes, learning to be single is difficult.

cmonge 12/15/2013

Psi hi. I love your idea,

zouga 12/15/2013

I also have a hard time being the only single in a group of couples. I was part of a couple for so many years. I know when I was part of a couple I didn't feel that anyone there alone was less of a person, so I think that is our feeling of being different. I thought I'd have a group of single friends by now, but that hasn't happened for me. I'm fortunate that my friends who are couples still invite me, but I understand how you feel. I like PsiChi's idea of taking a friend to gatherings, if that is possible for you.

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