I have much the same reservations as you, GG. I dodged a high school 75th anniversary last year because I simply couldn't face people. My ex and I used to defy the head master by sitting where he could see us right in front of the tuck shop, so that he couldn't separate us. My ex was 3 years older than I was, and the headmaster frowned upon us. Lots of people from my past thought we were the perfect teenage romance which resulted in happy marriage and three beautiful kids. There were also those who didn't think we should be together and would tell us so. How does one face people from either persuasion? How do I go there alone and face the stares, the whispers, the judgments and the 'I told you so's'? When I thought about going to that celebration, the negatives got to me and I have to admit, I chickened out. Then afterwards, some of my friends who did go (who have also been divorced and put on weight etc etc) said they really enjoyed the few people in our year who did go. Only about 10 of roughly 120 students from my year were there!!

so what was I afraid of? I was afraid of my own feelings of shame and embarrassment. I let those fears stop me from going and having a lovely time with those people. Some of my favourite teachers were there, and I missed out on seeing them, too.

I think I'll be going to the next one. Maybe you could "pack up your courage in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile", too?

love and hugs
kamary

Perhaps wine will help.:)

Maybe it will, GG :)

xxoo

With the divorce rate so high most likely your classmates will have been touched by it. I was an outsider in my school so I don't go to reunions, those people did not care about me then so why would they now? If I were you I would go and not hide my status if asked. Most people I tell I am divorced to do not even bat an eye because like I said,......it's prevalent. DS is proof of that

I would bet that far more of your classmates are divorced than you think. I don't think if someone asks about your former husband and you say oh were divorced, they will even think twice about it.

The longer I have been divorced the more people I realize are the same. I at first thought "my god" I'm the only one. But it turns out I'm in the norm more than I'm the odd one out.

Go have fun, see your friends, who knows you might meet someone who makes you smile. Or you may renew a friendship that helps you get through this time

I have never gone to any of my class reunions and we just had our 40th this last summer. However...anytime Im in a position where I have had to explain my marital status...I simply say I am divorced and I have never had any negative reactions...if it is someone that also knew my ex...which is most of the time and they question further...I say...well it's all about happiness and we both are quite happy now...end of story.

I think peoples reactions have more to do with our reactions than their own. Divorce is so widely accepted that this news only really effects you. Our close family members and friends excluded initially but even they get to the point quickly where they also could care less. If you show no concern..they wont either...if you do...they usually run for the hills...not because of your divorce and singleness but because you are emotionally unstable at this time. I think people can sense these things. When you really think about this it makes sense...those that do the leaving dont skip a beat out there with the community because they are not suffering from the emotional trauma...they have done the right thing for them and in their minds....may have actually done us a favour. People may gossip about them at morning coffee...but by lunch time...its old news.

So...go to your reunion...hold your head high...have a great time...when asked...simply say we divorced and we both are much happier people now...your class mates will walk away unconcerned...or maybe even a bit jealous of your freedom...Big Hugs...Kathy

I don't feel that Divorce is an issue with people anymore-at first I felt like such a loser and everyone would treat me as if I had a big D on my forehead.
It was all in my head.

Thank you so much for all of your responses and insight in to this. Very helpful!

After much thought, I decided not to go to the reunion. Just not quite ready. The process of considering it though was super helpful. It made me think about why I was uncomfortable with the idea. What was I truly afraid of? Sharing my new marital status? Being around people who married their high school sweethearts and are still married 41 years later? I got a chance to think about all of these things and address them. I have realized that I have to LEARN to be single again. IT'S BEEN AWHILE! That takes time and I have to allow myself that time to adjust.

I did go to a party by myself last night, my first venture out since all of this began a year ago. It was at a married friend from high school's house to watch a football game. They are super nice people and the people there were super nice, too, very engaging. As many of you said, none of them seemed to care when I said I was separated from my husband. Didn't seem to matter. Who I was mattered, not my marital status. Yay!!! I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. It was a great first step for me. I came home feeling great about it. I also came home pretty drunk, lol! I guess I was feeling pretty great, period, lol! Maybe that's the secret - WINE!

I'm thinking that your hesitance to go to the reunion is not so much that you're afraid to tell people that you're divorcing, but that you're just not ready to talk about yourself over and over and over again.

Let's face it, reunions are about re-connecting - and that means telling your personal "story" to all your old friends and acquaintances. That can be hard. Not to mention exhausting. Good decision! You'll know when you're ready

I went to my with my best friend and had a wonderful time catching up with everyone. No regrets for me for going; just a great memory and reconnecting with old friends.

iammine, I agree. lycesq, I have realized that I need some more single friends with whom I can do things. Most of my buds are married or dating someone. They are great friends and we do things occasionally but they have their own lives. I can do some things alone but enjoy being with someone so much more.