After waiting a year, he finally filed. About 20 minutes after I brought my son home from the hospital my stbx cames and says he can't take the kids tomorrow (his week) to their follow-up appts which they can not miss because my son was in the ICU. So I of course am bailing him out and taking them and watching them as well since he can not go to school yet. 15 minutes after he leaves, a guy comes to the door and serves me the divorce papers! I knew it was coming, but ... I guess nothing quite prepares you to see your names spelled out so officially as being opponents. It's all so unemotional and official. I've been crying of course. My friend just told me on the phone to put the papers away, take some medicine for my cold and sore throat and GO TO BED!! I haven't slept more than a couple hours each night and now is not the best time to try and process this info. So, I've shelved the papers and am sitting her wondering if he is celebrating with her now. Do they toast each other to their divorces and laugh and go home and screw each other? How exactly would that go?

I'm so tired and so hurt and the sadness is so overwhelming. There's always a little hope. Just a little that they would change their mind at the last minute. Well, no more hope here. The deed is done. What a sad world we live in.