Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

Happy anniversary.

cmonge
cmonge
I got married 23 years ago today. It's the first anniversary since my divorce. Last year we were separated and made the weird decision to have dinner together. It was just sad and awkward and I filed a few days later. Today I just feel kind of numb. Not tremendously sad, but I'm trying to keep busy so I don't focus on it. Anyone have a ritual on ex anniversaries, or do you mostly just ignore them?
KRKing911
KRKing911
I ignore mine now. In fact, you'll find that you'll get to the point where it's just another day and the thought might flit across your brain, but will out out just as quick. I'm glad that you had an OK day. First one's are always the hardest.

Sending hugs to you!
kamary
kamary
I ignore mine, too. Last year, the day went by without a thought about it. I remembered a day or two later. Keeping busy and having something else to think about helped in the early years.

big hugs and love
kamary
refurb
refurb
The 1st one, we were still in the same house, this year we aren't divorced yet,
The anniversary doesn't hit as hard as my kids birthdays.

The anniversary is just a reminder of her not being all in. I honored her and myself by honoring my vows. I try to focus on that thought when dates and other painful reminders crop up.

For you tonight, I prescribe 2 glasses of wine and watch the academy awards (some irony since it seems in a lot of "failed" marriages that one of the spouses was acting)
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
Although I don't think I will ever forget the date, I also experience that feeling where it just darts into my mind and out again. Don't really feel anything.

You will get there. Big hugs!!
texlube
texlube
I arranged to be away with family for that first anniversary date post separation. It helped. The anniversary of the day I found out about the affair was the following day and My divorce was finalized 4 days later. The anniversary of the day he left was 2 weeks after that. December is a scary month for me, I hope that changes so I can enjoy the holiday spirit more fully in the future.