Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I appreciate this group. It has helped me through my troubles. Now let us rejoice some good things.
The smile of a newborn (ok some say gas but I say real smiles) when they are dreaming.
The movement of your grandchild's head when they hear your voice.
The smiles of your children when you realize how happy they are and how they have survived all the drama you have been through.
The realization, at last, that life is so much better than the loneliness you suffered even with the xass in the same room with you.
The joy you feel when your eyes open in the morning and you have survived another day, another night without falling apart.
The moment you realize, while in the middle of a group of people, that you do not feel like the odd man/woman out.
The instant you feel some of the depression/anxiety coming on and you smile and it dissipates away.
And last, but not least, the instant, the moment you realize that it wasn't all for naught. That you did what you had to do to get you where you need to be. To be able to stand alone and be proud of the choices you have made.
Sure, they weren't easy choices. Maybe you still have regrets or doubts about those choices. But if you trust in God that he helped to show you the way then you know those choices were right.
We may never completely think we won't miss the xass.l We may still hold on to the "hopes or "dreams" of what a family is. But from here on in my dream of a family is this: loving, caring people who are there in human form, in spirit form and in true honesty of who they love. Never playing games with your heart. Loving only you and not needing validation from another. Showing you this every day.
You go through good times and rough times throughout your life. If it's true love, a love that doesn't have to be tested, then you are lucky. We can't survive on "imagined" love. Our heads see it as a love everlasting. but it isn't always that way. But be strong enough, be wise enough and be brave enough to walk if it isn't real. We deserve to be happy. All of us. So do not let someone else dictate how we live our lives.
The smile of a newborn (ok some say gas but I say real smiles) when they are dreaming.
The movement of your grandchild's head when they hear your voice.
The smiles of your children when you realize how happy they are and how they have survived all the drama you have been through.
The realization, at last, that life is so much better than the loneliness you suffered even with the xass in the same room with you.
The joy you feel when your eyes open in the morning and you have survived another day, another night without falling apart.
The moment you realize, while in the middle of a group of people, that you do not feel like the odd man/woman out.
The instant you feel some of the depression/anxiety coming on and you smile and it dissipates away.
And last, but not least, the instant, the moment you realize that it wasn't all for naught. That you did what you had to do to get you where you need to be. To be able to stand alone and be proud of the choices you have made.
Sure, they weren't easy choices. Maybe you still have regrets or doubts about those choices. But if you trust in God that he helped to show you the way then you know those choices were right.
We may never completely think we won't miss the xass.l We may still hold on to the "hopes or "dreams" of what a family is. But from here on in my dream of a family is this: loving, caring people who are there in human form, in spirit form and in true honesty of who they love. Never playing games with your heart. Loving only you and not needing validation from another. Showing you this every day.
You go through good times and rough times throughout your life. If it's true love, a love that doesn't have to be tested, then you are lucky. We can't survive on "imagined" love. Our heads see it as a love everlasting. but it isn't always that way. But be strong enough, be wise enough and be brave enough to walk if it isn't real. We deserve to be happy. All of us. So do not let someone else dictate how we live our lives.
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
I remember whenever I was upset at my ex, I would simply start reciting my blessings: Thank God for good health, a roof over my head, a good job, etc. It always made me feel better.
We really do have a lot to be thankful for, even in our darkest moments. We don't have to, and shouldn't, live with people who make us feel lonely and unloved, disrespected and abused.
I'm for loving those who treat us well and show us again and again that we are loved. That means I treat myself as though I love me, too.
Hope your little man is going well. I had a whole day babysitting my three boys (all under 5) yesterday. I couldn't wish for anything more :)
love and hugs
kamary