Wooo Hooo...enjoy!

So where did you find your lunch date? On-line or by chance?

Have fun-I wish I was ready :)

Hope it was great! (((HUGS)))

I hope you had fun.

How did it go, lucky ducky?

Enjoy!!

I did find it online. We started chatting, moved to texts, he laughed and made me laugh and asked me to lunch. It was fun....but, I think he is going to be in the friend zone as my kids like to say. It was nice to be out with someone that was comfortable to talk with and be treated like a woman, but there were just no sparks of attraction. Who knows, maybe that is where a relationship grows? Friends first right?

I am glad you had fun, and meeting people and dating should be fun!

Just my humble opinion and experience, but dating after divorce, give it few more dates with someone, before you worry about any "sparks". Dating after over Twenty years of a marriage and divorce, is different from when we were in our 20's dating! Because we are not the same people that we were in our 20s! We may be of course looking for the similar values etc, but it is not the same. Even for someone like me who married at 26, had other relationships before I married my ex. I am not 24, I was 54!

I personally have never believed in love at first sight, though I agree people can have an attraction and a physical reaction to someone. The internet has its good points, but everything I have known, there is nothing like face to face contact. Body language, eye expressions, manners, etc. For me, some people know way too much about each other from email, the phone etc before they meet in person. Part of getting to know someone is spending time with them! Your statement who knows maybe that is where a relationship goes, is up to you.. but I unless you are looking for just something physical, friends first is good! AND there are those out there too, just physical!

I have said this many times, I did not online date. I have nothing against it, but for me, I met everyone I went out with in person. My BF, of 3 plus years, I met while at my job. I was interested in someone else, that person and I had a casual dating relationship, but this guy (now BF) came around, talked to me, and asked me to lunch and I went. As my therapist said, you can go out with as many people as you want, you are not needy and you don't need someone! Believe me, after a contentious divorce, a long journey and 28 years of marriage, getting to know someone and having someone interested in you, can be a very good experience. I think some people you know right away that it is NOT a match, but the ones you may be unsure, may be a go too. Just my thoughts... and good thing about divorce, you get to do what you want in life, and should. ((HUGS))

I was watching a program once on online dating. There was a panel of physiologists giving advise to those who had not dated for quite a few years. There advise...unless the guy absolutely was not even close to a match...give it at least 3 dates before saying its a no go. Although first impressions are important...dating after so many years is uncomfortable and awkward for both of you and it shows. When I think back at when I met my H of 24 years...my first impression of him was...what an odd looking fellow and he still lives with his mom, has no job or car but he played a mean guitar...and he was in his late 20's. So if you are truly serious about getting to know someone...ya gotta give it more than one date...Big Hugs...Kathy

Ooops...lol...that was meant to read psychologists...stupid spell check...

yep, give them at least more than one date unless something really seriously turns you off about them (no teeth, BO etc)

Misred - you just about made me fall off my chair laughing -- (i.e., no teeth, B.O.) LOL!

I agree with dairytech and MsTerey in that you really have to give someone a couple of chances before you give them the boot. Dating after 20+ years of marriage is definitely a different experience from when we were younger. Our standards are higher, we are smarter, more seasoned. But we might also be apprehensive. Look at it from HIS point of view, too. YOU may not be putting YOUR best face forward and how would you like it if he wrote YOU off after just one date because there was no "spark"? If you are talking PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, then maybe you're looking for love in the wrong place. There's a big difference between thinkin someone is sexy good-looking and whether or not they might be compatible with you in all the other areas.

Give it time. Give it three dates at least -- and vary what you do on those dates. Let him pick once and you pick twice where to go and when. Sometimes a date of just window shopping or doing something fun (biking, hiking, canoeing) can give you a better idea of who this person is. Just a suggestion.

I have to say that many of us are in this situation because our picker was broken (I know that's a bit back woodsy but I've been in the south for 6 weeks. What can I say?). We did not choose the best of mates so maybe part of our process should be throwing out our old "type" as they say and choosing people on the basis of life-goals, purpose and other more relevant criteria. Yes, I understand that you want some spark and teeth and a lack of BO (a very funny visual Misred!) and I would recommend that also but it cannot be the only basis of our choice. I would also recommend a few dates.

Oh and I want to know what the etc.'s are from Misred's post. What are the absolute no-way's of dating? It could make a funny topic.

LOL...I'll play. For me its...odd looking, still lives with his mom, has no job or car and plays a mean guitar! Just kidding..kind of...Big Hugs...Kathy