Nothing you're feeling will be belittled or considered miniscule by others in the forum. We've all been hit by sadness based on our situations. I'm sorry that this day is triggering questions about your marriage. I'm not sure what your situation is, but it sounds as though you are trying to make it work? Think long and hard about what the issues are and whether or not you'd be happier with or without your spouse in your life. Are you respected? Do you love him?

For so many of us here we dealt with infidelity (continued instances of it), and eventually decided there was no marriage left anymore. I also am having a trigger day - it would have been my 25 year anniv. (but we divorced 2.5 years ago). And our first date was 2/9/1991 - just a few weeks before yours!

hugs, my friend. I felt the same way. But I had a complete medical assessment before I filed for divorce. I wanted to make sure that I was mentally sound first. I do not know the circumstances of your unhappiness but as cmonge stated you should talk to a marriage councillor on your own first.

Thank you,its not about the old adage grass is greener type thing its just we have no kids,one dog,and a house,and I feel empty like there should be more to life......he really doesn't listen to me or if he does he makes it like I am being dramatic. And nothing is ever his fault,have not been physical in close to 2 yrs. So what are we I ask myself,roommates,renters,I am getting frustrated and not to be selfish but I deserve more,I don't like conflict so maybe that's part of it....in any case thanks again.

I totally agree with the other posters...personal counseling is always a good choice when trying to decide major life decisions like divorce or stay. Your between a rock and a hard place right now. Therapy will help you sort your brain out so you can make good decisions for yourself..good luck and let us know how it goes for you.

If you are not happy, you need to do something about it. There's a better life out there, I'm sure of it. I just talked to a lawyer 2 days ago. I've been married for 26 years, and I'm going to file for divorce in just under 3 weeks. Is it the right decision? I'm not sure. But, I'm fairly certain I will be happier. My husband and I haven't been intimate in years. I want that back. I want my own personal person, the way it's supposed to be. My husband likes to drink, often. I don't. His life revolves around it, mine doesn't. I've stayed all these years for the sake of my children. My youngest just turned 20. It's finally time for me to be happy and feel whole again. My husband won't admit any fault either. That's ok. I know the story, the truth, and what's really going on. That's all that matters. And now, I'm on the road to happiness. I'm excited, nervous, and scared, but I'm ready, finally, after all these years. We deserve to experience happiness, not just create it for other people. Bless your heart, you'll do what's right for you, whatever that may be.

juliann and antaresmom - just make positively sure you are not doing this with the intention that you will meet "Mr. Right" in a year or two and be happier than ever. You have to do this because you know that you will be happier without your husband, but potentially still be alone. And being alone is not a terrible thing,especially if it allows you to be free and who you intend to be. And of course, it does open you up to the possibility of another mate, but as I said, it's no guarantee. Best of luck to each of you - a life without intimacy sounds rough to me - but I'd try counseling if you haven't already. hugs.

I'm sorry you are going through all this. I agree with cmonge reply about seeking out the real reason you wish to leave your marriage. Personally, I think it is a mistake to pin a persons happiness on someone else. If it was up to me to "make" my husband happy, then I would most likely fail on many levels. Sure, people can enrich our lives, but depending on others to make us happy will let us down. We can't be someones everything.

To Misred and cmonge,I appreciate the advice and yes I am most definitely doing it for me,If someone else doesn't enter my life post divorce fine if not that's fine also,trust me after 26 years,it will be a blessing just to enjoy me,myself and I,I am NOT repeat NOT on the hunt for another relationship....I just have to make the leap,what is it they say first step is the hardest,that is totally true....thanks again

Fair enough. Since you have said it is not about finding a relationship, then what is it that you believe you can do as a single person that you can't do in the marriage you have now, that would lead to this happiness you are seeking?

I can tell you why I left my marriage. I became a valuable possession he didn't want to lose as he cheated every chance he got. There were a lot of chances to cheat. I may sound weird but he picked the jobs he took and where we would live. He put me in areas where I didn't meet many people that would connect us as a couple. I would suggest a little therapy for both of you. Not to stay in your marriage but for support as you go thru the divorce. I was seeing a therapist to try to find a way to stay in my marriage. He declared me totally sane and helped me get thru what became a long process to financially untangle from the ex after the divorce. I have no regrets.