Don't give up....I just endured my daughters wedding last night (See my journal)....You can do this! Hold your head high and know that YOU did nothing wrong. Don't let them suck the joy out of your day.

Lost,

I am counting my blessings right now that I live 2 states away from my ex. I've long been counting my blessings that our children were already grown and out of school when we divorced. My daughter was already married. Eventually, my son will graduate college and get married, but at least I have a few years before that happens.

I truly feel for you. It makes me ill just thinking of what you will endure. But, as PsiChi said, don't give up. It may take everything you've got to get through that event, but you have more strength than you know. Think of the remarkable role model you are for your son. He will look at you and see that you are a man of courage, conviction, and integrity. If at all possible, don't even look at them. Just keep your head high and forward and pretend they don't exist. If she threw him out once, odds are that they will never last. But, who the heck cares. You deserve so much more.

I know the pain is excruciating. I know the wound hurts. But, it will heal. There will always be a scar, but think of it as a reminder that not even the end of your marriage could break you. I promise you that it will get better and easier.

Know that we are all pulling for you here. I'll be sure to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

All the best,
Kim

Lostwh, every time you go to one of these events, you will gain strength. You will take all of your energy and put it into your son! After you do, it will give you power. You should have no shame. The shame belongs to the stbx and OM. Can you imagine having to show your face when you are so disloyal and evil? Just keep that in mind as you hold your head high!

I echo what the others have said. Even though you're feeling sad and not wanting to do this, it's important for your own self that you do. Hold your head high and feel your integrity, your pride in yourself, and your pride in your son.This is his night. Don't let yourself think about your ex and let her take over your thoughts. You are being there for your son and you'll do it the way it should be done. You can even be polite to her and om despite whatever they choose to do or say. You can do this and feel good about yourself afterwards.

love and hugs
kamary

lostwh, i feel for you and i am in simialr sea as you, i have 2 kiddos 1 of whom is easier to read, we were speaking about custody and stuff and I could tell that he was not comforatable, it seems to me that he feels like i would be dissappointed that he loves his mother or that somehow that is letting me down, God that must be an awful place for a teenager to be,
I feel for your son, he just wants to enjoy parent night / court warming as best as he can, God how conflicted does he feel?
Conflicted; I told my son that they only obligation that he has to me through and after this divorce shitstorm is to not apologize about loving his mom nor hide it from me, Conflicted ---- that was something I didn't want to say but it was the right thing for him to hear.
You should not be conflicted over court warming night. You son wants you ther for him. He wants you there because he knows that you are "not full of shit" because he's seen you when you've been down, he has seen really who you are and he wants to walk onto a court with a man like that and lucky for him that's his daddy.
I am not sorry for using " not full of ----" as high praise. it means that at your core, behind closed doors, when everyone's back is turned, when you can get away with it, You don't because you choose not to, you have a compass that points to doing the right thing, that is the man your son has as a father.
Enjoy court warming with your son, You have earned sir!

I am so sorry, sounds like it will be awful hard.
But! You will do it and it may rattle you a bit but you will manage for your boy! :)
Stay Strong!

Brokennotforgood is so right about how fortunate your son is that he has you (a Dad with a moral compass). He is also right about what your son must be going through. I am sure you will help him on this special day. Although it is sad that our kids have to go through this, it is always good that they have one parent putting them first. I was a school principal for 23 years and I will tell you that this is not always the case. Many kids ended up in my alternative school because they had 2 parents that went off the deep end and they ended up parenting themselves.

I have to echo everyone's advise. This will probably be a very difficult day and you may feel like you could break...hold your head high, smile graciously, make this day all about your son and never let her see your pain...Big Hugs...Kathy

I've been through this situation many time before .
Ya, I was nervous, but I just focused on the function more then them.
In your case , your son .
This Feb 21st is my granddaughters 10 year birthday and I'm sure that they will have a party for her .
This year for the first time ...............I'm bringing my new wife ..........
You did nothing wrong .............. go .walk with your head up high ................
You'll be ok ..........
Bob

Jeez, I'm so sorry for you. Count your blessings - it's over after this year. (For a while anyway). I'm so sorry, but you are strong, you are tough and you can hold your head up high. The other two should hang their heads in shame, but they won't as you know. So just smile, go for your son and try to enjoy the happy moment instead of the ugliness.