I am one of the "old timers" on here and I can tell you it does get better. You have done the right thing in hiring an attorney; now get a counselor to help you deal with the emotional fall-out. Many on here like to call this dynamic duo the Dream Team.

At this point, don't be shocked if stbx starts to play more of what I like to call "bullshit baby games.". My ex did stuff like that too. Taking your name off the accounts is classic example.

One thing that may help with lack of energy is a sleep aid. Getting proper rest and nutrition is vital during this process.

Sending healing hugs!

Sure it gets better! You aren't defined by a relationship. Your just in the "beginnings" although you have been separated for a year - my guess is you were holding out hope all that time, especially if you haven't yet come to a financial agreement. (by your post, it doesn't seem so).

Hope in my case was a killer - I hoped for almost 5 months and it almost killed me - I can't even imagine doing it for a full year.

There is life after divorce, and it's all what you make it - you can push forward, be happy and prosperous. It is possible. I'm glad your daughter is going for therapy - but know if she does the work, she will be ok too! Welcome back, but sad that you have to be here.

I'm sorry it has come to that. I definitely agree you made the right choice. There will be more ups and downs, but hang in there. You'll get through this.

I am truly sorry that all your hope and effort over the past year has not worked. But now is the time to pull up your "big girl panties" and start playing for keeps! Leave ALL communication with your stbx to your attorney! Find a great therapist or counselor to help you keep your head on straight. Above all do NOT be afraid! Like hurtinandhealin said, they ALL pull the "baby bullshit games" once they know you are serious about divorce and they will try all manner of nasty tactics to knock you off guard.

All of us who have responded so far have been exactly where you are right now and lived to tell about it. Lean on us. We're all here to help! Big hugs around you xoxo

Sorry it's come to this, but now you know and can get down to the business of protecting your daughter and you from this thief. It is hard, but it will get better, and you now have a direction to move towards. Take care.

Kristin, good on you for making that move. My ex and I agreed to a separation of 6 months with counselling meant to heal the problems. He at no point showed any signs of making changes and I decided to file for divorce after only two sessions. He cut off financial support at that 6-month mark, took half the money in our joint account, and told me I could only access what was left for life supporting costs - food and rent - and I had to provide receipts! I couldn't believe he could do that but he did, and I learned a huge lesson.

Please understand your ex is no longer the person you married. He's not going to be fair. He's not going to care if you get sick and it looks as though he doesn't care about his own child. I'm glad you're doing what you have to do now, and I hope you have good attorney who will go the extra mile to get you what you deserve.

It does get better. The trick is to understand he's this new person that you don't know. You will discover inner strength you didn't know you had, and you and your daughter will be just fine when this is all done and dusted.

Take one moment, one day at a time. Let yourself feel the pain, spend time allowing yourself to be sad or angry or whatever emotion comes up. It's all natural, and letting it out will get rid of it, though you may have to revisit a number of times before you start to feel like you're coming out of the fog.

love and hugs
kamary

Thank you all for your kind replies - you're right - he is NOT the man I married! I don't know if this is a mid-life crisis or something else, but I do know that I deserve to be happy and not stuck in "limbo" forever! He has not put in any real efforts towards counseling or change - even though he admits that he's "messed up in the head" and doesn't "like the person I see in the mirror." I'm praying for a new job, a quick ending to our marriage and improved mental health/happiness for my daughter and I.

Hugs Kristin...that rabbit hole is deep...only you can pull yourself out...you can do this...you are so much stronger than you think right now. Get mad and use your justified anger to get you through this. Fight for what is rightfully yours and show that man that you mean business...in other words...give that man what he thinks he wants! Put yourself and your daughter first. If he cant decide...decide for him...this is all about you now...Big Hugs...Kathy

You DO deserve to be happy and so does your daughter.
You found the strength to make that first move. If you feel so depressed you feel like giving up, just remember your daughter, and that will help you find the strength to get through this.
I'm sending you and your daughter lots of hugs today.