You should be able to find him by doing an online search. I had to find my ex twice. Your Atty has better options for finding him. My Atty had to find the ex the last time.

If your stbx has an apartment or house in his name you should be able to find him. If not have him served at work. I had the ex served at the airport when he was coming back from an overseas job. Had him served on his job here in TN. Had him served in the front yard of a house he had just bought.

If he's not responding, then have him served wherever he can be found, new job or not. It's sad, too bad, but it's of his own doing. You're not doing anything wrong. Take care and good luck with the papers.

I think you said in another post you two are communicating? If that is the case. Send him a message stating you are trying to avoid having him served at work and that you need his cooperation in that. Otherwise, you can spend a lot of time and money trying to pin him down.

You can find people using whitepages.com. I use it at work a lot because people have horrible hand writing, so I look them up and get the correct spelling or address. It wont tell you apartment numbers though.

i presume that he knows why your lawyer is calling
if so, serve him
if not, tell him, give him one day, then serve him

sadly i ask cynically "why would you expect him to do the right thing"

Well, that's just it Refurb - I don't expect it anymore, but there was a time I thought I knew this man and understood his heart... Sadly, that's not true anymore or maybe never was... The paralegal called to let me know that he didn't respond today either, so they're going to serve him at work tomorrow. I know I shouldn't feel bad about that and I know that I'm doing what's in the best interest of my daughter and myself - but it feels super-crummy. :(

It feels super crumby because you try to do the right thing
And you are probably big on "fair"
And probably go too far with the sense of fairness for others while thinking it is ok for you to accept a little less than fair to get along

If so, don't change this world is pretty short of people like you...kind

But do see when someone is hosing you, a guy that doesn't keep his family first is a hoser
A hoser that is too self centered to see that you are trying to save him grief at his new job
Grief that he brought on himself, is a big hoser

The that someone you loved hid who they were inside from you for all those years really boogers one up
Inside, to see how truly self absorbed they really are is profoundly sad in so many ways
You feel crumby probably because you are sad for him

He's brought it on himself, Kristin. So be it, and it's not your fault. No need for guilt.

By the way, he is no longer your concern. If he wants to be unco-operative and an ass, let him. Everyone else can see him being ridiculous while you're doing what has to be done. Guess who's getting the respect?

love and hugs
kamary

It never ceases to amaze me! These runnaway spouses want out of the marriage but drag their feet to actually get the job done!!!! WTF!

Kristin...do not take on what does not belong to you. This is his shit to sort out...not yours. He made choices and there will be consequences. He had every opportunity to respond without shame...he chose not to. If he gets served at his new job...that is the consequence of his choice...simple!

Its no longer your job to put out his fires...remember...you've gotten fired from that position...now all you have to focus on is getting your due severance pay..Big Hugs...Kathy

Thank you, Kathy - I needed to hear that today. I also STILL don't know if he's been served - I emailed the paralegal and she's waiting for the report from the service provider!!! Seriously!! Why can't this get moving already?!? Our court date is Aug 31st.

I'd serve him at his new job and call it a day - was he nice to you?

Where I live they have to be served so many days before the court date. That gives the one served time to find an Atty or gather up what papers they need for court. Don't be suprised if this gets delayed. I've found that paying someone to have the ex served worked better than a county deputy.

Having him served at work would be faster so your court date isn't changed

Be ready for the emotional roller coaster ride of the lifetime. He will change like Jekyll and Hyde. Stand firm and hold that head up high. Hugs.