so it's *Arnold Schwarzenegger voice* "Not a tumah?"

Sorry I don't have any suggestions for relaxation techniques. Just wanted to let you know I'm glad to hear it's not something serious.

Yes - meditation, massage, tapping - not sure if you have heard of that, but it seems to help - look at it on the net. Deep cleansing breaths - exercise...

Congratulations btw - that's fantastic news.

I play games on my iPad. Helps me with stress. And I hang out a lot with my friends. Keeps my mind occupied.

Never heard of tapping. Been having lots of "dreams" of stbx being a cameo in them. Maybe cause d is getting closer. (6/10) That is driving stress level up. Plus atty has not contacted me in 3 weeks. Maybe she thinks my proposal was off. But sounded fair to me. Not sure what happened to stbx and his tax issue. Lots of things. Still looking for job. Lots of praying.

Tapping is otherwise known as "The Emotional Freedom Technique" which involves saying something over and over while tapping certain parts of your body. I use it sometimes for other things, and regularly use it to boost my immune system.

I bought meditation cds and played them while I lay on my bed or on the floor for years after I left my ex. I don't need them at the moment and have learned to relax my muscles almost instantaneously after so much practice.

Bowen therapy is great for reducing muscle tension, as is acupuncture and massage. I get the most benefit form regular Bowen combined with regular chiropractic treatments.

Staying in the moment helps with stress, too. You breathe regularly. THen you focus on the here and now, listen to all the sounds you can hear, see what you can see, smell what you can smell and feel what you can feel nearby and be present in the moment. Focus on the job at hand or on enjoying the smell and taste of a cup of coffee.

Lori, how interesting that you find relief by playing games on your ipad. Recently, I've found relief by playing Bingo on my iphone. While I concentrate on the numbers and daubing asap, I can't think of anything else. To make sure I don't have money problems, I only use the free games and the free credits.

I can't take anti-depressants or valium, so I use Passiflora herbal tablets instead and they work well, too. I also use Scheussler Kali Phos. (I'm not qualified to diagnose or to prescribe - this is what I do for myself after having seen a naturopath and a mora therapist.)

I'm so glad your scan revealed that all is normal otherwise. Jolly stress has a lot to answer for. It's important to get it under control because ongoing stress for years can effect your physical health eventually.

love and hugs
kamary

All the years I went to therapy, alone, with him and together, every therapist asked me, and him if we had any physical pain or other physical symptoms. Therapy was part of the roller coaster of our marriage and divorce, the therapy, and the him moving out and back. I never understood why the therapist would ask me that, but I learned that stress and depression often take a physical side that many people do not make the connection to. I did not have any physical symptoms I thought. I was sleep deprived and that added to something I had never known, anxiety. When I described in the last 6 months to the divorce, that I became overwhelmed, and that I had this pin prick feeling in my shoulders, and fear.. my therapist said that is anxiety Ms T and you have never ever had it. That is why you did not know what that is! I took a mild anti depressant the last 6 months before we divorced. For me that was major, I take to this day no meds, am in great shape and have no aches or pains for a slightly over weight 58 year old. I never had taken anything, and he had to talk me into the mild lexapro script. I also got help for my lack of sleep at that time. That was huge, I need sleep to keep cognitive skills, which you need in negotiating my divorce! My therapists clinic.. is called Stress Management Clinic. I get that now!

It is stress and anxiety and maybe some mild depression. Ever look up the chart of Life Stress factor that therapist use. Divorce, separation, financial concerns, changing a residence, all on there at the top of the list.

For me, and if I ever get depressed and I realized being in the marriage and the yo-yo he did with me, the years of back and forth was depressing, physical exercise was the key. I belonged to a athletic club that was social, which helped me also. I have always told my therapist if I say I am down, I have to get the exercise to increase those endorphins and make me right. I also for the first time in my life had trouble reading for enjoyment. Until I came here to DS, I thought I was the only one that had that.. common. I ended up at night watching some crazy shows.. Ice Road Truckers or such. I had to shut my brain down and that helped me at night. Sometimes mindless is good. There are many things, you have to find yoru own. I also did Pilates, I have a reformer machine and that helped with the mind body deal for me.. and this is a reminder for me, I have to go back to that now as I am back to being alone at least part time! HUGS

Ms t a lot of what u said is me exactly. Back to treadmill cause that helped. And the pin pricks in back shoulder area. The insomnia too. I have to read to get tired enough to sleep. Usually til 1-3 in morn. Lots of things I never connected to the d. Now I know. Thanks all for new insight.

I also find that exercise is key to feeling good.

MsTerey, what's a reformer machine? I'm interested in that.

love and hugs
kamary

I am glad that my experience helped you, nohappy. Part of the work on you plan, and it is hard.

And I have I need to heed my own advice. Get back to working out and the Pilates. I have a treadmill of my own, I not sure I can afford the athletic club until July, I put it on hiatus for a couple of months. Not the same as a divorce, but my three year committed we live together relationship, all in a state of change. I could not eat or sleep well, not the anxiety so much! He does miss me, he does love me, and right now, we are still 100 miles apart. Believe me, knowing what to do, not the same as doing it some days.

Kamary: a reformer is a really a frame that sits on the floor, a platform of sorts that has pulley and strap system that you use your own body as resistance to do Pilates on. It work as resistance training since it also has springs to provide additional resistance, you can increase or decrease. The most widely used piece of apparatus, and probably the most important, is the Reformer. Most of the exercises that us Pilates today are mat exercises, but for me this resistance this give really great results. I have done both. It may be why I am so flexible at my age! Some of that is genetics too though. It is much more of work out than people think and of course all levels.

Google it and you will see all kinds of price ranges etc. My ex bought me a really nice one from QVC a long time ago. Today they are so much more money, he got me a beautiful wood framed one that I am not sure they sell now, and it was about 500 dollars, not the prices they charge today. I just looked on QVC and was surprised! Joesph Pilates developed some other things as he did this to work with. It all about core strength, and works so well for me. Since I was a lot heavier than, it really was a good start for me. It is low resistance, and I did the core exercises with a chart. Marjorie is the name of the lady that comes to QVC to promote this, she is incredible, has her own dvds etc. Over the years I really got into it, and got some other things, a Magic Circle, a barrel and pole, on ebay! I also of course started to do things like spin ( bike) work out in the pool at club and do 5 miles on an elliptical every day. I need to goal myself back to that.

Too bad you are so far away..Kamary. I was at Goodwill after my divorce and bought another one, not as nice as my machine, but still it was like 20 dollars. In my garage. I could not pass it up for that price.

Overstock has the Pilates machines at a really good price, I closed out my search window and saw it. More in line with what my ex paid.. 400 dollars, which is still a lot. AeroPilates Home Studio.

Stress is a killer. It effects our immune system in a negative way. I am 100% certain that the illness I got is directly linked to the stress of my 1st divorce. I got very ill and it took 4 years to get my health back...I am in remission now and feel better than I have in years. You have been given some really great advise on dealing with stress..ones I have practised myself. In addition to that advise I began taking VitB Complex 50 daily...for me it helped a lot...Big Hugs...Kathy

Exercise, exercise, exercise! I found that the only time I could block out the situation I was in was when I was doing Zumba or some other class. Also, every time I have a headache, when I work out, it goes away! It comes back later but not as intense. It also helped me sleep which kept me from getting headaches in the future.