Once in awhile I'll get an off-the-wall Friend request here. I look at the profile and make a determination from what is (or what is NOT) there. Rule of thumb: I never befriend anyone until they have posted a few times and/or started their own discussion.

I, too, find it pretty tacky and disgusting that desperate men would come here trolling. They are truly PATHETIC.

i have gotten them too from women,far from my mind

Not me. I am interested in connecting with people that are going through similar situations to mine to learn from their experiences. If I interact with a post on one of the board from a person who I appreciate their story, I will send them a friend request, but its not about hooking up :)

Maybe us guys should change the default text for a friend request to say "Would you be my friend? And no, I am not looking to hook up with you! :)"

I did when I had my picture up. I took it down. It was frustrating and annoying.

Yes, they do! Some are here because they are lonely, and may not even mention it, but they do "troll"! Our group, the divorced group and the widow group, some are there thinking that this is the way to go. I will caution, some are just looking for someone vulnerable, and some are quite needy themselves. I get every now and then, email, " I saw your profile and liked what you wrote...and looking for a friend"! Not that kind of friend! Some are looking for someone to hook up.. you have to decide! Some will even tell you that!

We have had men in this group, who are long gone, and I was good friends with one, his wife left him for another woman. He lived out east, me in the mid west. We became friends, talked on the phone and although the intention was not to find someone, he was a lot more missing a woman than I was missing a guy! At one point, he wanted to pay for my airfare and come out, see a baseball game etc. No strings attached, we are the same age and did have some things in common., but I knew not enough. I said no matter what, he was not going to give up his job, nor was I or leave my house..and the distance was too far, so I did not see much point in it. He really was lonely and bit needy. We are still friends, and he would call me and talk about his dates, and give me guy advice on mine. He did meet and he did go out with someone from DS a few times... she had issues. He met someone in person, I did also, and there was never anything serious here, but he was hurt from his marriage, and his issues, and he did not want to be alone.

We still once in a awhile exchange emails, and when I thought I was going to be out east in his city, I would certainly call him and meet. He is a friend, but be careful, he has outright told me he showed up on DS and needed support, but he soon realized that there were 100 women here to one guy! He said that he was honest, and he was, but he said he learned from me that getting divorced may be all that some have in common.. the stages, the anger, the rejection.. HUGS