Any advice??? My daughter (11) is a competing gymnast. She has a good friend on the team with her. Unfortunately, the mother of this friend is now my stbx's girlfriend! Originally she was my friend and then they became a little too close and my stbx and I fought about it for a couple of months during which time his contact with her got worse. He denied, denied denied and still does deny that it's more than a friendship but there's too much evidence proving otherwise. The ho is now getting divorced from her husband too! Anyway, the problem is that before he left, his excuse for being around her was so the kids could be together (she also has a daughter the same age as my son (7) and they are friends too). When he walked out on me, he did not stop seeing her or taking the kids around her. They were always together. I feel that it is psychologically damaging to the kids to see their dad walk out on us (I was pregnant at the time too) and then immediately see him with another woman! He of course does not agree and would not stop exposing them to the ho. After my baby was born my daughter had a gymnastic meet. My stbx had gone to the previous one so I was going to this one. At the last minute, he tells me he's going as well. I was not happy about it and asked him not to go but he did anyway. And of course the ho was there and that's who he sat with. So here's my daughter out on the floor looking up at the stands and sees her mom with her newborn sister and on the other side of the stands is her dad with his girlfriend! After the meet while I was bustling to get the 3 kids into the car and ready to drive back home (3 hours away) my stbx, his ho and her daughter walk out of the gym like a little family!! The look on my daughters face broke my heart. I wanted to kill him at that moment! Since then there have been other functions where they've done the same thing. I've asked, begged, demanded and pleaded with him to keep the kids away from her and take their feelings into consideration at these functions and sit somewhere else. He refuses of course. My daughter has expressed to him many times that she does not want to be with his ho but he talks her into it and blows it off. He refuses to believe the kids are being traumatized by this and keeps saying I'm just jealous. He is in the military so I've even gone to his commander to plead my case. They are both married and the military is supposed to be pretty intolerant of that kind of behavior. His CO was not real helpful and I had to really convince him that they needed to do something for my kids. So after some convincing the CO told me he was going to issue an order that my stbx was to keep the kids away from her and he was not to be with her in their presence. Mt stbx complied for a couple of weeks but then went back to his old behavior. He says the CO did not issue an order but told him to "use good judgement"! I emailed his CO to find out what was going on and emailed him pictures of them clearly disregarding the order. I got an email back saying that his position had not changed and he had talked to my stbx. So basically I've come to the conclusion that they don't give a shit.

My 7 year old doesn't really understand and when the jerk tells him they are just friends he believes his dad. But what about the long term damage. My daughter understands a lot more and it's hurting her now. She's torn between her love for her dad and her loyalty to me. I'm terrified of how this is going to affect her transition to a teenager which is hard enough but she also has a reckless propensity so keeping her out of trouble with sex, drugs and alcohol was going to be challenging already! Now with her dads behavior, I almost wouldn't blame her if she turned to those vices, I'd like to sometimes and I'm an adult!! I spoke to a lawyer when this first started and she said there's nothing she can do legally. Does anyone know of anything I can do? Both kids have shown negative behavioral changes and their grades in school have dropped. I plan on getting them into therapy because I feel like they are not able to really open up to either of us though I've tried to let them know I would not be upset or judge them and I certainly wouldn't love them any less no matter what they said. I've reassured them many times that they can feel and say whatever they want and it's okay to be sad, angry, confused and scared. I have tried many times to get them to open up all the way but I know they are still holding back. I think a therapist might make them feel safer so they can let it out.

There's got to be SOMETHING I can do to protect my kids! I've told him he can be with her as much as he wants when he doesn't have the kids but around them ... He doesn't think it's harming them. He says they only say they don't want to be around her because they know it upsets me and I should stop questioning them. I do not give them the 3rd degree. Believe me I DON'T want to know what they do but it comes up in conversation and I can't tell them they can't talk about their dad or tell me about what happens in their lives while they are away from me. Even asking if they had fun when they come home can lead to them revealing something and I didn't go looking for the info. I honestly don't want to know about the other woman and what they do but I don't want to have to stop asking about my children's lives either. Is there nothing I can do???

ANY advice would be appreciated. Please be honest and tell me if I'm blowing this out of proportion or misguided in some way. I need some honest heart to heart. It's driving me insane. It's to the point that I'm considering packing up and leaving now without taking care of all the legal crap! Help!!