Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I try to understand the fact thAt you're not really ready to date until you're hapoy with yourself. Otherwise the other party will find you needy or sense your desperation? I guess? So, I am a successful woman with many interests, book club, artist on the side, gardening, friends, working out a lot.... BUT, none of that will ever make me happy to be sitting alone in between those activities. I am lonely, and if I werent, I would not be seeking dates anyway! So it seems like a catch 22 to say we should be happy alone before we can be ready to date. Can anyone explain this? I am going to continue to try to fix the loneliness by dating and looking for someone to be my companion, or possible future spouse.
After many so-so dates over the past year, some I've seen 7+ times, but most only once, I finally met someone who made my heart twist. It was a connection like I've never experienced before. We had so much in common in addition to physical chemistry. I tried to go slowly with revealing how I felt, but he amped it up and seemed to encourage affectionate words, so I followed suit. Well, now, just 7 days later (seems like a month), he is suddenly unavailable. I suspect he got scared off. I did not say I love you or anything crazy like that., but I don't know what to make of it. Maybe it was nothin I did. I just know I never felt so strongly so soon about anyone before, even my ex. I think I combined two topics in one discussion. LOL
After many so-so dates over the past year, some I've seen 7+ times, but most only once, I finally met someone who made my heart twist. It was a connection like I've never experienced before. We had so much in common in addition to physical chemistry. I tried to go slowly with revealing how I felt, but he amped it up and seemed to encourage affectionate words, so I followed suit. Well, now, just 7 days later (seems like a month), he is suddenly unavailable. I suspect he got scared off. I did not say I love you or anything crazy like that., but I don't know what to make of it. Maybe it was nothin I did. I just know I never felt so strongly so soon about anyone before, even my ex. I think I combined two topics in one discussion. LOL
Wanting some company and someone to share your life with is not being unhappy - but if you find yourself being lonely and looking for someone to fill the void - then you still have some work to do IMO. Loneliness can drive you to make wrong decisions.
As far as the guy who got scared away - BEWARE.... women are notorious to attaching too quickly - and LONELY woman are the worst. You meet a guy and a week later your head over heals in love thinking and analyzing and over analyzing everything they say, text or don't say.
I have a friend who dated a guy for a week - he backed off and went back to his old girlfriend and she cried for 3... she jumped in too fast too soon - because she's lonely.
I say back off, let him chase you. If a man wants to be with you - You'll know it. There won't be anything to analyze. Good luck Cmonge. I hope it works out for you sister.