Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

506 Members
7,364 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

Better Health Post-Divorce

goldengir
goldengir
Before my husband left in November, I was having all kinds of weird health problems. My right foot was buzzing. I was having warm sensations in that foot as well. I noticed some problems with coordination in my legs and hands. A kind of staggering gait. I was having lots of joint pain. Off and on blurry vision. Blood pressure always a little high. My doc had me go for a full neurological workup. They found nothing.

When my husband moved out in November, my right foot stopped buzzing. No more warm sensations. No more problems with coordination. No more joint pain. Vision got better. Blood pressure dropped. This was not my imagination.

I realized this morning at my annual physical - when once again they found my blood pressure to be fine now - that this is not a coincidence!! My husband was causing so much anxiety in me that it was making me physically ill. My doc said that they are realizing more and more that anxiety can cause many physical symptoms, even just general aches and pains. My husband was actualiy making me physically ill.

Anyone discovered the same??? I am amazed.
Misred
Misred
Yep, I was on antidepressants for 6-7 years. Previous attempts to get off of them failed. When I filed for divorce he called his employer and had them drop my health insurance. I was running out of Zoloft and since we were dividing up the finances I was broke. I couldn't afford the full cost of a refill. I started breaking them in half and took them until they were gone. A few weeks went by until I got my own health insurance and fortunately my regular doctor accepted. I told him I had been feeling fine without them and he said if that was the case, no reason to take them. He did write a RX as a "just in case" which I never had to fill. I carried it around even though it was expired just as a reminder how much better I am.

Glad you health is improved
goldengir
goldengir
Yeah, I never thought that my husband or another person period could CAUSE my health problems. How scary!! But they can. I'm glad you discovered that you didn't need an anti-depressant anymore, Mis.
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi
Any type of on-going STRESS can have physical manifestations. I suffered with asthma at one point in the 30-year relationship and also Migraine headaches. I always attributed it to "something else" -- job stress, raising my Hellion of a daughter, whatever. It wasn't until AFTER I divorced in 2007 that my on-going sleep issues were finally resolved (although that does manifest in times of stress now).

My therapist told me that she has worked with many women who are in dysfunctional relationships and it's frightening how many of them have come down with cancer -- different kinds of cancer. I belief that cancer IS most definitely caused by an EXCESS of just about ANYTHING!

Life in the U.S. comes with enough stress -- that's why we all need to continually evaluate our relationships and keep them healthy -- or get out of them! xoxo
goldengir
goldengir
I hear you, Cowgirl. Could not agree more. My husband has major anxiety issues, I'm pretty sure it's OCD. He is a healthy guy, even did Ironman triathlons for awhile. Really healthy guy, eats right, and guess what. He developed colon cancer out of the blue. There is no doubt in my mind - NONE - that his anxiety and the dysfunctional way he thinks about things - was the cause. Thankfully, it was just early stage 1, they took out HALF of his colon to be particularly aggressive so it wouldn't come back. Never had to go through radiation or chemo. And it hasn't come back. But sadly, he has done nothing to curb it. Because of that, I wouldn't be surprised if it resurfaced.
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
That is so true, I was so stressed out that I felt like a tightly winded clock. One more turn and the spring would have snapped. Since I have left him, I started to slowly unwind. No more aches and pains, nothing. The peace and quiet I gained is priceless. Not even having an income or the car accident has rattled me, like that man did for 25 yrs.
drtexdi
drtexdi
I am 4 years post divorce. I had chronic bronchitis ( bordering on pneumonia many times) and high blood pressure for years during our marriage. Haven't had it since the divorce. I am sure this is true.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • MelT2020

    Happy National Underwear Day - Aug 5th

    Posted by: MelT2020
    Last Reply: JazzyLady
    2
  • Tired

    Mild Shock Coming Back to Car

    Posted by: Tired
    Last Reply: billwfriend
    2
    I had gone to the grocery store.  When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute.  A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked.  I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds.  But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026.  I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away.  It was an ordinary middle age...