I would just sit with it, TTR. I would let myself do the grieving. Just sit or lie and let yourself be. Count your breaths in and out. Think absently, cry, beat rugs, dig in the garden, walk in the bush, eat ice-cream - whatever you feel like doing will be whatever you need to do, but the last thing you want to do is ignore how you feel (even when it seems you don't feel, because that's numbness) or try to push it down. Let it out, mate. And if you don't want to be alone, talk here, call a good friend or make an appointment to see someone. It's ok.

love and hugs
kamary

Hurt is better than numb, don't numb the pain, don't fear the pain,don't hide from it
Things that work for me
Call someone tell them what your dealing with
Cook, cook several meals ahead
Exercise - go hard , hammer the pain it helps me to sleep
Clean a room differently
Find a little old lady to help across the steer ....I'm being silly with this one but it helped me to see that I too often feel victimized to where I feel powerless and when I am powerless over myself and my inner doubts come alive I try to find someone worse off than I in some wAy and I do something for them... Kind of like my "demons " are too strong for me to fight but maybe I can take down someone else's for them
So at 2 am and I'm wide awake and corned by my thoughts I can see that in the daylight I'm gonna move the washing machine for my neighbor, therefore I'm still me

Hope that makes sense

Well brother at least you recognize that these waves will come and go over the next weeks, months, and years. But just like waves in a storm, they will peak, and slowly, they will begin to calm. That’s not to say that just as you feel better, a rogue wave won’t come out of nowhere and knock you off your feet.
Work your body, mind, and soul hard these next few months. Trigger events will lurk around every corner. Confront them and deal with them head on.
Do something for yourself that you have always wanted to do. Big or small. I enjoyed pizza for breakfast to decorating my new house the way I wanted. My favorite is to get on the bike, point it west and ride until I’m lost.

Sending hugs your way. These days come and go. There will be brighter days ahead. Feel the feelings.

These feelings will come and go .
7 years for me and I still feel bad every now and then .Except they only last
for a couple minutes or sometimes an hour . Never the less they still come .
Do your best to take care of yourself .............
NO, it's not easy and we all know that here on D&S...
We all also know that it will get better for you ..

God bless..................... Bob

Trying, as stated previously, these feelings will come and go and it will happen at odd times. The key is to not think about the grief too much and to occupy yourself with something else...like broken said.
One theme I see repeated in these groups is the fact that we are all grieving while the ex spouse has moved on. We must do the same! I'm not saying we should try to find a replacement because that's just silly. I'm saying we must find us. Figure out who you are and where you want to be in 6month, in a year, in 2 years. Set a short term goal and work on it. For instance: I want to be happy and confident again. Work on that. Maybe you need to loose a few pounds or maybe you need to gain a few....go to a gym, start eating right and working out. You will meet people and the exercise will release endorphins to help your mood. Volunteer at a charity or animal shelter. You will see that you have something to give.....just a few examples, but something small can make a world of difference.

Great advice so far. Can't add much. Just to let you know, though, that the road is long and the roller coaster is scary. I kept thinking it was just something you got through, like a break-up in high school. Not so. But, it's your opportunity to grow and learn and read and heal. Just be good to yourself. Big hug

You've got to feel and experience the pain to get through it. Unfortunately, this is the down side of the healing journey.

When I had days like this, I just did what I wanted to do. If I wanted to lay around in my pajamas and cry all day, that's what I did. If I wanted to veg in front of the tv or go out shopping, that's what I did.

The one thing that I made myself do, though, was promise that I would have a more positive and productive day the next day, and I did that. That prevented me from staying down too long.

Sending healing hugs!!!! Stay strong.