Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Today my son discovered for certain that my stbx has been having an affair. All this time, even though I had evidence, I didn't have proof. Well today my son found proof.
My stbx gave my son a birthday present yesterday - a new disc and bag for disc golfing. Well today my son actually took it out of the box and low and behold there is a shipping receipt. The gift was ordered online and shipped to his girlfriends house. Shows her name and her address.
HE IS SO STUPID!!!!! Now my son is so upset and confused he doesn't know how to feel. He wants to hate him but how can he when he's his dad. He has lost ALL RESPECT FOR HIS DAD NOW.
No turning back - my stbx has just hung himself where our kids are concerned.
As for me it's a very hard thing to deal with even though I kind of knew all along. But without knowing 100% I could push the mental images to the back part of my brain and not think about the physical aspect of his affair because I didn't know 100% for sure. Now I know and the thought of my husband having sex with another woman while he was still living and loving me just makes me sick to my stomach.
I am not hurt but very, very angry. I am mostly angry that the number one moral we taught both our kids was to always be honest and this just proves that he's been lying to all of us (his family included) all along.
WHAT AN ASS.
Another bump in my ever winding road. Another stumble and fall.
I just want a normal life - is that too much to ask for? I have had enough of these pitfalls. I'm tired of picking myself up over and over again just to have another blow.
I'm done venting now. Sorry - just had to get it out.
My stbx gave my son a birthday present yesterday - a new disc and bag for disc golfing. Well today my son actually took it out of the box and low and behold there is a shipping receipt. The gift was ordered online and shipped to his girlfriends house. Shows her name and her address.
HE IS SO STUPID!!!!! Now my son is so upset and confused he doesn't know how to feel. He wants to hate him but how can he when he's his dad. He has lost ALL RESPECT FOR HIS DAD NOW.
No turning back - my stbx has just hung himself where our kids are concerned.
As for me it's a very hard thing to deal with even though I kind of knew all along. But without knowing 100% I could push the mental images to the back part of my brain and not think about the physical aspect of his affair because I didn't know 100% for sure. Now I know and the thought of my husband having sex with another woman while he was still living and loving me just makes me sick to my stomach.
I am not hurt but very, very angry. I am mostly angry that the number one moral we taught both our kids was to always be honest and this just proves that he's been lying to all of us (his family included) all along.
WHAT AN ASS.
Another bump in my ever winding road. Another stumble and fall.
I just want a normal life - is that too much to ask for? I have had enough of these pitfalls. I'm tired of picking myself up over and over again just to have another blow.
I'm done venting now. Sorry - just had to get it out.
You need to show the proof to his family. They most likely won't look at it or care but it made me feel better when I had it. They all swore to me that he would never do this. Well, we know better. They never did look at it. One sil did that is married to stbx's brother.
It's amazing how well they can lie. It's such a sad example to show the children. Hugs my friend.
Big hugs to you, my friend!
It's hard now but, better that the truth came out.
If you ask my children if they love their father, they will say yes. but, if you ask them if they respect him or if they can count on him they will say with all honesty "No". This is because of the choices stbx made.
Prayers to you and your children.
"you know, it would have give your son a birthday gift that didn't have a shipper showing your girlfriends name and address. You are an asshole. You've just hung yourself where your kids are concerned". And then I hung up.
I expected him to at least call his son with some sort of lame explanation, but he didn't. And of course, he could care less that I found out.
I despise him and he thouroughly disgusts me. Sld1 I have thought of all kinds of ways to tell his family. But my son will be doing that in his own way.
My son plans on taking his gifts from his dad to his Nana and Papa's house, where the stbx is living, and giving them back to his dad. He plans on telling him that he doesn't want them or anything else from him and that he's just like Darryl (my stbx's husband who cheated on her and left her after 30 years).
I think his family will get the message loud and clear and I won't have to do a thing. Justice will be served.
But I am so sorry that my son had to find out this way. I think he, like me, wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and now there is no doubt.
I keep saying it over and over - what an asshole.
Thanks for all your support guys. It means a lot to me.
Love and hugs to you and your kids!!!
Love and hugs to you and your kids!!!