You are strong and will grow stronger as time goes by. As for being alone, that is different than being lonely. I am alone now, but not lonely. I felt more lonely when I was with him. I have not even tried branching out yet. Give yourself time, do not close your heart to life. Enjoy life at its fullest. You will never know when that right guy will show up.

I know how you feel I too don't beleive I will ever have a love as the one I lost.

I am not only alone but I am lonely at times.

I truly hope that once my kids are a bit older that I will be able to fill my life with many things that make me happy and that I will finally be ok with being alone.

I don't think it's sad its pragmatic. You are only protecting you, and as I always tell my daughter protect your hea(((HUGS)))

Wow you have a current romantic interest? Your well ahead of me! I've become a bit selfish and just don't want to give anything right now. I've only just begun to enjoy myself the past few years. I've just hit the 6 year mark, and it really feels good. I'm happy, at peace and just doing what I want with no one to bring me down.

In fact, I leave with my daughters on Sat., heading to Cancun for a week. I'm super excited to be able to do that with them - we should have a fantastic time! Senior Frogs here I come - I want them to make a margarita in my mouth ;)

Don't sweat the x sister - Yes, it's not what you envisioned, but sometimes.... turning the channel you find something greater... Don't look back............look towards Cancun - xxoo You've got this.

Cancun and margaritas with your daughters should be great. How old are they? Yes, I've always been interested in having male company and a new partner but have had trouble meeting the right one, due to a number of reasons - not really being ready (but thinking I was), possibly having unrealistic expectations, or whatever. I'm not sure this guy is "the right one" or even if such a thing exists, but he is a decent, kind, funny, handsome, stable and that's a damn good start!

3 years out, talk to no one outside of work or volunteer gigs, besides family of course. No idea how or when I would meet anyone to even share coffee with. Everyone at work and groups are married or not interested. Perhaps just as well, that way I don't have to wonder about trusting anyone closer than arms length. Easier and safer I'm sure, but I do find myself lonely sometimes. I've always been OK being alone, but when I get lonely, it's pretty bad. Glad you have a nice guy to spend time with when you want to.

MnMama - I would go crazy. I have found I don't do well for long stretches alone. I'm so grateful my son lives with me still. He is not home that often at 24, but just having traces of him around and knowing he will be back makes me feel less anxious. I don't even know what the anxiety is about, but it's there. Maybe it's a sense of abandonment. I'm smart, stable ( I think!) well-read, etc, but still this comes up when I finish everything on "my list". I am left at odds and feeling a sense of foreboding or unease. And that's when lonliness attacks.
And last night I found out my ex is now going to Mexico in February right on what would have been our 25 year anniversary. I don't know why but it infuriated me and I sent him a snarky text saying "maybe you should get remarried same day so it will be easy to remember the date". It's not like he and I would be celebrating anything. I am ashamed of myself. I decided to block any information about him on FB. We already were not friends and I had his GF blocked, but comments about him would still surface from mutual friends - like this Mexico trip info. Enough! The less I know the better!
This is quite a rant today.

KR...I just got back from a 2 week vacation to Lombok Indonesia with my daughter...it was awesome!!! I saved up for over a year to do that trip and it was sooo worth the sacrifices I made.

cmong...loneliness hits me every once in awhile too and I'm on my 7th year out. I'm starting to think its just a normal emotion. Even the most happiest people feel it. When I think back to my happiest times in my marriage...when everything was good...I felt it then every once in awhile. When things were bad...the loneliness was 100 times worse but it was accompanied with uncertainty, self doubt, suspicion and a whole host of other horrible emotions. Maybe its something that we just have to accept as normal.

cmonge the I'm "forever changed from who I was" line I totally get. Divorce really does change us...but let's try and see those changes through a different lens. I hear you, I feel it too. But what if we look at the new self as someone who is not just a divorce survivor...but one of the sort more akin to a cancer survivor, battle weary but oh so glad JUST to be here! Celebrating ourselves living in this moment. Creating ourselves anew. We really are doing that! Yep it's hard work...but sort of exciting too!

Let's not take this crazy life we've been given to live for granted. I am NOT the eternal optimist....far from it! But....there really is beauty in life,and something to smile about every day. Heck, I still get a feeling of wonder when I look at a full moon. What makes you smile? What do you love that has absolutely nothing to do with the ex.....it's just something for you and that's special to you?!

We have friends and family who we love and who love us. Some of us are blessed with kids, fur babies.....point is, life still has love in it. We can love. Ourselves and others.

You're dating someone!!! That's fantastic. Enjoy it. So you don't have that wonderful loving feeling.....so? You enjoy his company. You can feel good that someone is attracted to you! That must boost your morale! You still got it sister! Maybe he makes you happy enough....for now. That's ok.

If you are dating and even OPEN to loving again...you are on the way! I too feel that I may never have that carefree, 'safe' (for lack of a better word) feeling that I had when I was in the nest and still married. But....I'm not the same person. Sometimes I think I don't even remember her...I think about the married me and I feel like she is abit of a ghost to me now.

I know myself so much better now.....and I like who I'm becoming. In a strange way, I'm a more loving person. I appreciate the differences in the people I care and love and...I'm able to forgive faults and trespasses much more easily. Maybe it's being in my 50's ...I don't even know.

Point is....you're ok. And you're going to be okay. It's a journey. You've not anybody's fool. You have moved on. Doesn't matter how or why...it happened. You're here. Maybe you're just not sure where yet! Let's both ponder that one lol

Hugs

IAMMINE: That was one of the best, most uplifting responses I've read. I love your reminders to look at the full moon and think of things that make me happy that have nothing to do with him. There are many of those things in my life!
BTW - the new guy broke up with me about a day after I posted that. Oh well, I had a feeling he needed to date more anyway - I was the first one post-divorce for him. Good guy though.
Thank you and have a great Thanksgiving. Let's all enjoy our blessings!