It seems like if he is not paying as ordered by the court he would be in contempt?
This is a bad situation, can you get any free legal advice anywhere?

Bless you
Hugs

Mac can you find a lawyer that will give you a free consultation? If so ask them first and then go from there. Since the original decree stated he pay you at the first of the month you might need to file contempt charges the next month. When you get your alimony back don't allow him to make any changes. He makes that much money he shouldn't have a problem paying you at the first of the month.

The ex had quit paying me three times. Well, twice and ordered to pay and he ignored that order. You will have to have him served and taken back to court. This might be a slow process depending on how crowded the court system can be and if you can get him served. It took me 9 months this last time to get the ex served and get a hearing date so be prepared for this to take more time than you think it should.

I hope you can get this resolved quickly.

Thanks so much for your advice!!! I totally forgot about asking for free legal advice. And yes I know it will take a while and it will cost me money unless I win and they make him pay. But with the need for this insurance I may just have to do this, whether he pays for the court costs or not. Thanks!!

I am so sorry you have had BC and dealing with all this. Divorce is financially so hard.

If he is paying you directly, and you want it weekly, did he take the amount and divide by 52 weeks? Because remember most divorce decrees in alimony are a monthly amount. Mine is a monthly amount, but my ex is paid bi weekly, so divided by 26 payments in a year. Some months, usually two, I get a partial amount, because there are 3 pay periods in a month using the bi weekly schedule. And he gets paid tomorrow, Friday, I do not get it right away, there is a week of "lag" time, because mine goes from his employer, to the state and then DD to my account. It is confusing. In most divorces, it does not dictate weekly bi weekly, it say so much per month. So technically a whole month can by without any payment and no recourse. I have got alimony for a few years, TG I have got it all, but last month, I do was expecting the full amount, and got a partial.

I take from this that his employer is doing it, not him personally.. does it go from the employer and then the state then to your account like mine does? If so, then contact the state and see what is going on. IF it is him paying you without the state, then you have to read your decree and specific terms that are set up. If it goes from his employer, no state, then to you, then it may be his employer. Call the employer and find out what is going on if they are not sending it on time.

I did payroll for my job, and the old codger I worked for did not realize that the previous office manager was not paying the child support weekly out of payroll, which in this state has to go through the state. So the poor woman would not get it on time. When I did it, and got it caught up,I took that check myself to the PO on my lunch, because I did not want any more time added. He agreed I could do that, but he would not let me pay it on line, which is was one keystroke to the state. Seriously, my old employer was worried about the computer paying. Paranoid and 82. The father, the employee always paid, taken out of his check, but depending on the mail, it varied when she got her DD. I use that as an example how things get delayed. I know that does not help when you need the money on time. I do so understand. I know you are trying to plan ahead with your payments, I just do not want you to waste your money and time before you do the above. Here, legal aid does not do family law. BUT there is a state agency that will help if you are not getting your child support, and my alimony is under the child support division of the state. Go figure, I do not care, as long as I get paid. I do not know if they assist with alimony if a spouse is in contempt. They do with child support.

For me, and some other people that I have helped, I do something simple. I take a yearly calendar and mark all the exes pay days, in my case 26 of them. Then I mark each time I get a DD and the date. If I get a partial amount, I mark that also. You will see a pattern, and it makes sure you keep track. Mine will always add up to my monthly amount.. it just is not in the time frame of that month, a week behind. Like I said, as long as he pays me in the month the full amount, he is not in contempt or any problem. That is hard to deal with and budget for many people.. and I get it, my health insurance is paid directly, from my checking account. Personal health insurance like mine, individual, has to be paid by direct withdrawal from a personal account. Terms of the deal.. and when you are expecting a certain amount of money, and half show up, it is painful.

I wish you the best of luck with this. If it goes through the state, call them and try and get an accounting of if the employer is late. I got from your post his employer may be doing it, you could call them and maybe get an answer. AND read your decree, he may have a month to pay. Your were fortunate, most exes lawyers will not talk to a former spouse.. ((HUGS)) and I hope this helps.

It is late and I wanted to add.. you would have been off his insurance, no matter what he did, you can not stay on a spouses insurance after a divorce. You can go on COBRA, for 56 months in a divorce. It is very expensive, it is the full price that an employer pays for a person in their plan, and you pay it. Mine was almost 600 a month. The 2200 may have been COBRA. There have been a few teachers on DS who told me that their ex could stay on their plan, but either that was full price or they both worked for the state. the same employer.

I also got in re reading your post, that he has never NOT paid you, but he is late by your account. So in my long rambling post, I am telling you that he probably is not late. A week lag time or being paid on Wed one week or Friday another, happens all the time. The best I got, he paid on Friday, I got it by Wed. And that is over a 5 year period.

Last, have you contacted the Susan J Komen Breast cancer group for help? They may be able to help you with no insurance. Have you checked with CA to see if they have help for people without insurance and a life threatening illness or cancer? Even with insurance, you may need the support emotionally and financially. I so wish you the best.

Thank you so much Ms.Terey. No my money comes directly from him. He was being garnished for about a year, but as I said he found a way to void that by claiming he worked for too many different companies all at the same time. So the garnishment was never enforced. The first 2 years he did not pay me enough support, but I have heard that it was too late to do anything because the year was over. Yes by the end of the year I will have the full amount. I guess I am just screwed. I have been keeping a record for the last 2 years,especially after I talked to his lawyer. As you also pointed out my insurance will be an automatic withdrawal, why can't his money be the same. Actually it can. That is what has been happening for the past 9 months. Now he is just being lazy and not keeping up with his balance(spending money on things he shouldn't)so I suffer. As I said he makes "boat loads of money" or as he told our neighbor "I make so much money now, I don't know what to do with it!". Well he should pay his bills and in my mind I am a bill. Like a bill if he doesn't pay the bill by the due date, he should pay a fine. This should be the same for all supports, child as well as alimony. If I had not stayed home to take care of the kids, I would have had a full time job and could have supported myself with out his help. I still would have taken the support, because I more than earned it, but I could have ignored this mess that I have now. As to the BC, I make too much in alimony(although I am still at or below poverty level)I live in California and they have some supposedly fantastic programs to help, but 5 years ago, they were overloaded and not taking new clients because of budget cuts. Yes the programs are still there, but now I am not so urgent. I basically need more reconstructive surgery. The breast cancer was fully removed. (Yeah!) And as you said "that he has never NOT paid you, but he is late by "your" account." Is accurate, but for some reason it feels like a slap in the face.(Not by you!) This is what he tells me when he is late and I used to call him. He agreed in the divorce to pay this money(it is much less than what others in his pay bracket pay) I am only expecting what he agreed too. But that is not how it works in the real world. I understand I am just screwed and compared to others, it is nothing. But I am feeling very scared financially because of this Obamacare thing. I have been patiently waiting for Medicare to kick in, but I still have 4 years to go. I have gone from living in my own 4 bedroom home to living in a Travel Trailer(RV). It is very humbling to lose your children and your security, while your X just continues on happily. Losing my children has nothing to do with my alimony and I know it. But the overall picture upsets sometimes. Thank you again and the others who gave me some advice and the insight you gave into how the money is actually generated. (((HUGS))) to all of you!

P.S. Ms.Terey, you mentioned "lag time" I have no problem with "lag time" if it is standardized, in other words if it was always a week behind, that would be okay. As long as a payment was made the same day of the next week. In other words, he gets paid on Friday, so my money is automatically deposited on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday!! Since this is an automatic deposit "HE" set up with his credit union. He makes enough he could have 2 deposits sitting in is account at all times!!, so that no matter what the deposit could be made. But I know the truth, he doesn't feel he should have to pay me after all this time, so he drags his feet as long as he can and then at the last second will pay. I just think a man in his pay bracket and type of job, should not be allowed to behave like this. I have advised him, (every time I have to send him an email to let him know I didn't receive my support) that if he would just advise me that he has a problem getting the money to me at the usual time, but will still get the money to me, I will work with him. But I need to know! Not just sitting at home all day waiting to see when the money will be deposited!

It is very frustrating waiting on the check, mine comes once a month but it could be anytime between the 4th or 5th to as late as the 15th of every month, it is not my ex slowing mine down it is the state, I have now signed up for DD but that may take a month to take place so far it is when ever the state gets the check in the mail and how long it takes the postal service to get it into my mail box.
Yuck, I lived is a RV for a year, very crowded.

hugs

I am so glad you answered.. and since I was up in the middle of the night, I have to correct that is 36 months of eligible COBRA for anyone that is divorced and wants to stay on an ex spouses insurance, though an employer.

I am so glad that you are a breast cancer survivor!

I am sorry that you did not get a better settlement and alimony. That is the issue, that if he is paying you about 400 a week, and he is making 10,000 a month, that is not even 20 percent of his income. I get that is what you are angry about... and you should be, unfortunately most divorce decrees as settlement and alimony are final. AND he gets to deduct what he pays you on his income tax, and you have to declare it as income. That is why in divorce and alimony, you can not just take someones income and and divide in half. Because of the tax liabilities. He actually gets to keep more of the income he has, may not be paying much if not any income tax on what he has left after paying you. That sucks.

I am guessing this, but your lawyer did not to the best job, because your alimony is even less in " real" money if you have to pay income tax on it.. and anyone with an income of above 8,000 a year, single has to pay income tax on any income above that figure. That is a big shock to some who are divorced, the first year they do their taxes. I also worked part time for 3 years after the divorce, and although I could use the income, that added to the alimony, pushed my taxes up. That is on your lawyer that you did not get a better settlement, and in divorce settlements, I hope you got half of any of your assets or some equity from the sale of the house. I also realize that you may not have had equity in the house, or their may not be assets. I wish I had more to offer what you can do to improve your financial side.

I understand the financial anxiety. Tell me why, and you can pm me, that you are scared of the ObamaCare? I am afraid of it too, but probably not for the same reasons. I am concerned because I pay 386 for individual personal insurance, and I have no health issues, in fact barely have used any insurance since I divorced in 08. BUT every year it goes up, by at least 50 a month, and now I see that it will really go up in premiums. The claims the government is making, that because everyone will HAVE to buy or have health insurance, therefore the premiums will go down.. I feel is not going to happen. In my opinion. I have to have health insurance because I own my house, and in this state, if I rang up a huge medical bill and did not have any insurance, they will take my house. So a 300,000 house, easily could go to a unpaid hospital bill or creditor. AND bankruptcy is not an option either, people like to tell me that, just go bankrupt if you ring up a medical bill. If you have property, assets and a lot of equity in a house, or own it paid for, you go bankrupt, they leave you with 45,000 dollars of your assets. And the bill may still be owed or part of it. Each state is different in bankruptcy. Or I would get a lien on my house! If I did not own anything, I would risk going without insurance, at my age!

FOR you it may be a better deal, because now there are no pre-existing conditions clause. So at least you qualify to get insurance. BUT I also get that you have to be able to pay the premium, and if I at 59 with no issues, have hardly used any insurance, and see no better plan, what is the cost per month for a woman our age going to be. I do get it. I am fortunate that I get alimony, but it is just enough that I don't qualify for any discounts, but not quite high enough to justify for me financially, almost 500 a month for a premium. Taxes on my house, my car, health and homeowners insurance eat up a huge chunk. IF you are worried about the "fine" for not having insurance.. it is 75 dollars in 2014. IF the IRS can figure out by then how they are going to collect it.. because it will be on your taxes. I just told my BF who has no insurance either, that is the least of your worries, the fine.

I right now am looking to see if I can get a better deal on my own insurance, through the state groups that are being set up. On NPR the other day they used this example. A single woman 60, so my age, in Texas may pay 500 a month for ObamaCare for a premium. The same exact woman in Ohio.. her premium will be 700 a month! I live in neither state. Great! I hope I can make it to Medicare at 65 too. At an average of 7000 a year in premiums, I have 7 years to go.. I am grateful so far I can pay it.. but I have my anxiety too. I do not get lifetime alimony. Even with professional experience, I was also out of the work force for about 9 years prior to divorcing in 08. I am a fifty nine year old woman, and even with a bachelors degree, my demographics a huge part of the unemployed out there. Divorce is extremely devastating financially. AND yes, my ex also makes a lot of money.. he worked for me when we first met. He had nothing, no car, no degree, nothing. As my lawyer put it he would not be where he is today, that arrogant SOB without me! SO I do get it.

I wish I had some more answers for you to ease your financial anxiety. I have it some days too... and I am looking at taking social security at 62, instead of 65. So that is another project. Have you thought about taking SS at 62, because if you do not have the work history, or enough credits for SS, you will qualify to get whatever is greater, yours or his full amount. HE will get his full amount when he retires also, no reduction in his or yours. It will not help with the Medicare insurance, we all have to wait until 65, but with your alimony income, it may be a better deal for you income wise if you can not work. You could still work part time.. and that is complicated but doable on SS. You may want to look into that.

But most of all, know that you are not alone. We all may have different situations, but we all here face similar issues and problems. I have been divorced since 08 after 28 years. I am better off than many, but not as well off as others. I say I signed the divorce decree and 15 minutes later we went into one of the worst recessions in history. I am way over the divorce, and I no longer spend any time doing the whys.. I replaced that with looking at insurance options, again looking for a job, how to pay all my taxes and insurance which are sky high in this state, and I need a new roof. My heart goes out to you. Please continue to post, and I am very chatty today... I procrastinate here! ((HUGS))