I moved across the country but my sons came with me. I don't collect any money so I know nothing about those issues. I know that you will have some feelings about your daughter's relationship with him and any future spouses. As much as we may not think we will, it seems to be human nature. Resentment kicks in.

Thanks, drtexdi. It's the money part that concerns me, at least initially. I wonder how that might affect the receipt of alimony, collecting it if he stops paying.

Interesting about how this might affect my feelings toward my daughter's relationship with her dad and a future spouse. I am already having trouble with my daughter. We had a really difficult exchange yesterday when she came to get more of her stuff. She just has no idea how painful it is for me to watch her leave. She hasn't really been herself since she's living with her dad this past month. I still believe he's brainwashing her. She's acting like she has to butter me up before asking for something she needs. She's never done that before. That's something I know her dad taught her. That how he operates. Makes me want to scream every time I see her doing it. That's not my daughter. <sigh>

I would study divorce laws in BOTH states before making a decision -- and FILE FOR DIVORCE in the state which would be more advantageous to YOU. In other words, if you already live in an Equitable Distribution State, STAY THERE TO FILE!

I wouldn't worry about enforcing anything at this point, because you don't have anything in writing yet.

Other things to consider are which state is more "tax-friendly" -- that was one of my criteria when I decided to move out of Maryland when I sold my farm last year. Maryland is extremely tax-oppressive. Florida has no state income tax. Like everything else in divorce, read and learn. It will empower you!

P.S.
IF you would have to take him back to court after the divorce, you will have to file suit in the court where the divorce was granted.

Have you/ex already filed for divorce? If not, and you are planning to move beforehand, keep in mind, that in some states, residency has to be established before you can file for divorce in that state. Cowgirl is right...any future court action will have to be initiated in that state that divorce was granted. Talk to your lawyer about your concerns. He/she should be able to guide you accordingly.

We haven't filed for divorce. We are trying to settle out of court. I think it makes sense to stay put for the time being at least. The last I thing I need at this point is for my life to become more complicated by having to deal with courts in a neighboring state.

I moved two states away, and I'm very glad that I did. Before I moved, I was constantly looking over my shoulder everywhere I went out of fear that I would run into "them." I did run into my ex a couple of times, and it was awful. I stayed in my tiny little apartment instead of getting out and living. Even more important, I don't think I would have healed if I had stayed there. I needed the distance so I could begin rebuilding my new life. I had to leave my grown son behind, which was heartbreaking. But, I still feel that I made the right decision. Now, I live closer to my friends and family, and when my son comes to visit we get to spend quality time just the two of us.