First and foremost I learned that I am strong. That I can now handle anything because short of losing a child there can be no greater pain or challenge. But I think that is the most obvious answer. I would imagine we are all finding out we are strong. The changes that are not so noticeable are the ones that take place in your heart and soul. I was changed not always for the better, I'm now a bit more cynical, I no longer trust myself or others, I believe nothing that is said only the actions I see. On the up side, I too, took responsibility for all the mistakes I made during my marriage. I set out on a journey of discovering who I truly am and for me that meant going back to my childhood and getting rid of all the damage done from an abusive mother. I learned that I am a forgiving person, but only to a point. I've learned that I have to make my own happiness, I am more confident than I have ever been (even though I still have insecurities) and I am proud of myself. Since the divorce I have gone to school, found a job, made new friends, bought my own home, and traveled. This is something I will never be totally over, but I know I will be okay and that I have a life still left to live. Sorry if I rambled... Good Question

This is a really great question, and it has many answers. In the past 2 1/2 years, I have lost my mother to cancer, started a new job, have a daughter graduating, and am ending my marriage. My relationships with my sisters and my best friends have grown stronger because of all of these things, but my marriage has faltered and is dying. So, what have I learned? I have learned that things happen in this life that we cannot control, and that we need to reach out to others sometimes. I read once that if you never ask for help, you deny someone a blessing. ...I have learned that life isn't perfect, and that striving to make life, and myself, perfect is a waste of precious time. ...And I have learned that I am strong. I look back at periods in my life where I thought I was strong, and wasn't. The only thing that held my marriage together, for years, was my children and a state of depression and denial. I am no longer depressed and I am no longer in denial. Recognizing all of the above has set me free. Although there is pain and terrible anxiety sometimes, I am so much better than I was. I know there is much to be realized and much more to be learned, but I now have hope for the future. I have hopes of laughing again. I have hopes of finding love again. I have dreams for the future, instead of despair. I have found "me", and I have come to realize that I have worth as a person, above and beyond my worth as a wife or a mother. .....Chrissy, thanks for asking this question. It is so empowering to write these things down.

I didn't LEARN this; I simply REMEMBERED IT:

"Believe in YOURSELF. Trust your GUT. KEEP (or renew) your FAITH."

I already knew I was strong and I resented those well-meaning folks who kept saying "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." You can be strong and still be stupid (i.e., NOT self-aware).

Most of all, I learned that if I kept doing what I was doing (which was standing up for myself and refusing to give in) I would be victorious in the end and that SOMETHING WONDERFUL WOULD HAPPEN FOR ME. I was and it most certainly did.

THE most important thing I have learned is that actually 'living' life is wonderful. I spent 20+ years just existing, a fixture with assigned duties and responsibilities...and the abuse....
I am now free!!!
I am going to have fun in this next chapter of my life. I am going on my first date this weekend since the divorce and I am gettin thinner, more spunky and I like this person I am becomming..... and really I get happier every day...
I also beleive that something wonderful is going to happen to me!!! Believe it...It will then happen...Great questions.....!!!

I all ready knew I was strong, but I don't think i ever realized how much one can actually endure and handle. I have held a son while he died, so I know that pain very well. I have visited my father has he has undergone chemo for colon csncer, I have watched my sister sink into drug addiction and abuse only to finally pull herself together and overcome it. I had stayed with a man I was convinced loved me even after I had found out he had cheated on me and fathered children outside of our marriage. What really hit home was the fact that I was settling becasue I was afraid to venture into the world alone. I have never lived by myself till now! I lived with my parents, then I went o college and lived with room mates, then I got married. I also realized I always try and fix everything for everyone. I wanted to make sure everyone was happy, but I forgot about myself! When I started back to school a couple of years ago and advanced at my job, my husband started to change even more. He actually resented me for doing something for myself.

I am still in the early stages of this divorce process, but I now know that I will be truely happy again one day and I still have lots of hopes and dreams. I look forward to making new friends, meeting new people, traveling, enjoying my children, just enjoying MY LIFE! I am proud I have stood up for myself and believed enough in me to final venture out on my own.