Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Hi -
I have a real mess on my hands. Could use some advice.
I moved into my condo about two weeks ago. I was so excited to finally have my place and finally feel settled again. I started to feel a sense of joy returning to my life. Everything had gone so well with the closing and all the steps leading up to that. The place was beautiful and just where I wanted to be located. And i could afford it. Could not have been a better place.
I moved in on a Wednesday. All was very quiet as it had been when I looked at the place with my agent. After dinner, the noise began. The bumps. The bangs. The running. The jumping. The wresting in the hallways. I found out in a hurry that I had moved in underneath a family of 5. Three kids ages 6, 8 and 11 and a puppy! Oh the noise was awful. Thought I was going to die. It was so very irritating. The seller had said when i asked who lived above that they were nice people, very respectful. And then she added, "There are children." And then she followed that up with "but they are looking for a house but haven't found anything they like yet." So, naturally I thought ok, if it's noisy, it will only be for a short time.
Well, I find out later the day I moved in after meeting the wife from upstairs that they're not in a hurry to buy a place at all! The agent had misrepresented the situation! If I had known the level of noise and that they had no plans on moving anytime soon, I wouldn't have bought it!
So, the noise continues. It's awful. Daytime is ok. All the kids are in school. From 6-9 on weeknights, and all weekend, it's terrible. It truly sounds like they're setting off fireworks. Oh so irritating.
I called the condo association manager. He said to try and speak to the neighbors directly. I did at length on three occasions. They said they would try keep it quieter but I sensed in the husband that he had no intention of doing that. The association manager finally wrote a letter to them saying that there had been a complaint but they didn't take that seriously at all. All the noise continued.
So my daughter came to spend the weekend with me. There is currently a lot of flooding going on where I live and the downtown area where she lives is getting hit pretty hard. It was so nice to have her here. But the noise problem arose pretty quickly. She couldn't believe how loud it was. These horrible booms like every couple of minutes. She couldn't stand it and finally left this afternoon and went to her dads. I was so disappointed and so frustrated.
So, I need some advice. Have any of you had to deal with noise from neighbors? How did you handle it? Were you successful?
My options at this point are: 1) call the police, 2)go after the agent who didn't fully disclose the problem, 3)move.
I have a real mess on my hands. Could use some advice.
I moved into my condo about two weeks ago. I was so excited to finally have my place and finally feel settled again. I started to feel a sense of joy returning to my life. Everything had gone so well with the closing and all the steps leading up to that. The place was beautiful and just where I wanted to be located. And i could afford it. Could not have been a better place.
I moved in on a Wednesday. All was very quiet as it had been when I looked at the place with my agent. After dinner, the noise began. The bumps. The bangs. The running. The jumping. The wresting in the hallways. I found out in a hurry that I had moved in underneath a family of 5. Three kids ages 6, 8 and 11 and a puppy! Oh the noise was awful. Thought I was going to die. It was so very irritating. The seller had said when i asked who lived above that they were nice people, very respectful. And then she added, "There are children." And then she followed that up with "but they are looking for a house but haven't found anything they like yet." So, naturally I thought ok, if it's noisy, it will only be for a short time.
Well, I find out later the day I moved in after meeting the wife from upstairs that they're not in a hurry to buy a place at all! The agent had misrepresented the situation! If I had known the level of noise and that they had no plans on moving anytime soon, I wouldn't have bought it!
So, the noise continues. It's awful. Daytime is ok. All the kids are in school. From 6-9 on weeknights, and all weekend, it's terrible. It truly sounds like they're setting off fireworks. Oh so irritating.
I called the condo association manager. He said to try and speak to the neighbors directly. I did at length on three occasions. They said they would try keep it quieter but I sensed in the husband that he had no intention of doing that. The association manager finally wrote a letter to them saying that there had been a complaint but they didn't take that seriously at all. All the noise continued.
So my daughter came to spend the weekend with me. There is currently a lot of flooding going on where I live and the downtown area where she lives is getting hit pretty hard. It was so nice to have her here. But the noise problem arose pretty quickly. She couldn't believe how loud it was. These horrible booms like every couple of minutes. She couldn't stand it and finally left this afternoon and went to her dads. I was so disappointed and so frustrated.
So, I need some advice. Have any of you had to deal with noise from neighbors? How did you handle it? Were you successful?
My options at this point are: 1) call the police, 2)go after the agent who didn't fully disclose the problem, 3)move.
There are clauses in HOA about "normal " living noise, such as talking, walking, bathing, cooking in kitchen, TV, and the time of day of activity are within acceptable noise range- dBA . There are ways you can reduce echo / noise in your apartment: Wall hangings and curtains, Fabric-covered panels and area rugs helps.
There is a clause about noise and the right to quiet enjoyment of your space in our master deed. Just don't know how enforceable it is. The association manager sent a letter and that did no good whatsoever. If the association can't enforce what it is in the master deed, what good does a master deed do? The manager that if the letter didn't work then that's all he can do. The police will have to handle the rest. I thought that was a major cop out.
The private sub division I lived in was going to post a speed limit until I mentioned that the local county deputies couldn't enforce the speed limits on private roads. The speed limit signs have never been posted.
It sounds to me as though the building hasn't been planned properly, and has no baffling between the condos.
If you want to stay, would it be possible to put batts in a false ceiling? We put batts in the ceiling of our lower-floor home office in a 2-storey house which was very effective. You couldn't hear a thing in that office. We wished we did the entire area downstairs because our poor kids' bedroom were downstairs and they said they could hear us walking about upstairs. They reckoned they could even hear my ex chewing!!
Good luck. How disappointing when you were so looking forward to your new home.
love and hugs
kamary
love and hugs
kamary
I completely understand what you are going through. I have had less than desirable neighbors during my marriage and we ended up moving. Maybe these people will eventually move - can you find this out? Maybe if you keep complaining they will get tired of that and try to keep their kids quieter.
I feel so bad for you because you were so happy with your new place. I think that adding area rugs, curtains, etc. that Toby suggested would probably help a little.
I really think that they'll probably move if they have such a large family. Just be patient....
Hugs,
Donna
Asked them, when it first started up, to please keep it quieter, and the dad started threatening me. He'd yell obscenities out the window when I walked in with my 7 year old son and the groceries. He ran down the steps screaming he was going to mash my face in one afternoon, banging on the door just after I slipped in and locked it. He threatened to shoot my husband the next time he knocked on their door. When the landlords or police were called, they could see them drive in, the lights would go out and the noise would stop. We actually were told we would be charged for false reports if we didn't stop calling.
Odd as it seems, I got used to it after awhile. One particularly loud afternoon, I was sewing in the dining room and heard a sound at the door. Through the peephole, I could see my landlady outside. I let her in, offered her a cup of coffee and went back to sewing my son's costume. She said she had walked around the block to sneak in the back way and check the building. Couldn't believe what she was hearing and the dope she was smelling. She apologized to me and said she would start eviction processes immediately. Didn't matter, by that time our lease was up and we were moving out of town.
That was a terrible place to be, and I'm sorry you have such a loud space to deal with. Before selling and moving, I guess I would try 3 things. If you have room, put up a false ceiling with noise abatement materials. There are some out there for sound studios and such that will really help, some that block a lot of sound without taking up a lot of space. I would start documenting all contact with the HOA and upstairs tenants, and check with local law enforcement on what your rights and responsibilities are as a homeowner in a condo. The nuisance laws are, I think, a city or county thing. Once you know the local rules and regulations, call the police. If nothing else, it will let the family and HOA know you mean business, and that you expect your rights to be upheld.
Good luck to you. I hope things work out quickly and quietly!