This gave me my first laugh of the day. Thank you. But he probably won't have the thought that he would have been better off still married to you. I can certainly understand that gleeful feeling you have.

Within three days of asking for a divorce we had a settlement agreement in place. He agreed to everything I asked for including tax free alimony. While he agreed he sometimes thought he could quit paying me. My gleeful moment was the third contempt hearing when his atty wanted to know what would make me happy and keep the ex out of jail.

Your ex will always have money problems and my ex will always cheat. If the house hasn't sold make sure you keep good records of what he gets. Realize he will be asking for money again and again. You need to think this over before he makes you his banker.

My ex now has to pay all the bills on one
Income, plus alimony plus his own health
Insurance.

We were living beyond our means then he
Really is now. He needs to qualify for a refi
To get my name off and pay me the rest if
He cant we sell.

He will be in debt until he dies unless he
Sells some of his possessions.

(((( hugs)))))

I'm with Trisha on this one. I would be extremely reticent to pay him anything at this point, especially if you have a legally binding Settlement Agreement. You don't want him to start to come to you every time he gets himself behind the financial 8-ball.

I think most of us have x's that were financially irresponsible. It has been 8 1/2 years since my divorce and my x has been "homeless" so to speak a couple of times. He has a recreational van that he has lived in a couple times since the divorce. My x will live in debt until he dies as well and he has sold about all of his possession already. He has a college degree as a teacher and could do fine, however, our whole married life he said he wasn't rich because "I held him back" from pursuing getting big money (can we say narcissist).

My gleeful moment came about 3 months after he left. He called me and said he needed money and he said, "After I pay all the bills, I don't have any money to spend". I died laughing on the floor. Because after he left, I had plenty of money to buy things I wanted to. However, I didn't do that long because I got my share of his debt (CA law) so I was determined to pay it off, and I did, without taking bankruptcy, although I could have. It took me 5 years. But life is good for me.

Hugs to all of us

Everybody knows the scenario, the ex is getting ready to go DOWN into the rabbit hole !!! All you can do is watch the boy toys gets repossessed and watch the ex destroy themselves and anybody else who happens to be near. Even they get some collateral damage from his crap!

I might be thinking about saying "How is it working for you now, player ?" but I wouldn't dare tee him off !! I 'd make dang sure not to be placing any green cash money into his hands ...not tangibly. It might be in the form of a direct payment for utilities.

PS: Do pay attention, after all he is complaining !!! I'd check monthly the mortgage statement to make sure its payments has been made. It's nothing personal, just BUSINESS. I would schedule my inspections days prior to Open House Day with the realtor to make sure he is maintaining proper care. As like a landlord, I'd treat him as if he was a "renter"!!!

I like the humor in your note, but would check the paperwork clearly before giving him money. If the paperwork spells out sharing equity when the house is sold, you may just be giving him an outright gift and still have to split the equity when you sell. That and setting the precedent of bailing him out.... have you read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie?"
Not saying you should or shouldn't, but if you're giving him a gift, better to be aware of it up front.

I had a good laugh at your ex's expense, too. However, be careful about giving money. Keep records. Talk to your attorney about having it legally recorded for settlement purposes. Some people will drain another's cash supply without a backward glance.

love and hugs
kamary

I to have had that moment of glee, when my fromer spouse was living in a basement apartment.

Made me smile thinking that this was his greener grass. Just a dumpy basement apartment, no house, no toys

Puts a big smile on my face even when I think of it now.

Oh what a tangled web we weave........ha ha. Well I am enjoying a bit of my STBX's dose of karma myself.
Turns out the girlfriend wasn't at all what he thought she was.....that's over, his business has gone belly-up due to him taking his eye off the ball trying to impress that OW during the past two years, and he is in trouble with business creditors, IRS, etc. None of that impacts me thank goodness. Anyway, I still come out on top and he is left holding all the shattered pieces that were supposed to help him start his new life with the OW.

Turns out he now realizes his mistake and wants me back. Can I ever trust him again?? NO! Although I don't wish destruction on anyone, I just never thought he would implode so soon.

True to the words.

Good for you!! Enjoy this little moment of Told-You-So! I am always so amazed to come on here and see how very similar a lot of our stories are! When my breakup was first new and painfully fresh I felt like I was so abandoned and alone. And then I found this site and heard all your stories and was able to share mine with you. Some days I can not get over how unoriginal these middle aged cheating liars are! They behave in the same manner, say the same things, do the same despicable things! I hear your stories and see them as my own. So when one of my "sisters" on here is enjoying a little karmic revenge I share her in her well deserved glee!

I wouldn't give him anything your all done. It's over.