Think long and hard. Divorce is hell. If you are going to discuss your options, have all financial information at hand.

Property
Last 3 years income tax returns
Investments
Retirement accounts

Things like that. You should be able to find out how it would be split and what if any maintenance you would be getting.

Know all of your assets. Ask about health insurance.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Welcome, I am divorced since April and maybe I can help. One thing that you can do is look up some of the laws for your state. I also recommend Divorce for Dummies or Divorce for Idiots, it is a good general overall view of what can go into this. Educate yourself with the terminology of divorce.

I went to a lawyer the first time the first time for a consulation, I went to a top divorce and family lawyer and the fee was 250.00, and this was over 10 years ago. It was worth every penny to me. That is one way to go, other lawyers offer free consulations, that is fine also. I had a referral from someone for the lawyer I had for the divorce, he is a great lawyer, I got pretty much what I wanted. I was proactive in my own divorce, and I did what the lawyer told me to do when he requested that I get or do something. Do not be afraid of a lawyer, he is your advocate.

Each time I saw a lawyer, I brought as much info as I could. Three years worth of our taxes, any info I had about our investments, my ex's pension.Checking account statements, all our debts, his benefits and health insurance, I did not work, but if you do bring yours/ours.
Your mortgage. Loans for the cars, anything financial. A lawyer will tell you a lot of what he/she is about. If and how much a retainer, if any. Hourly rate. Ask him what the average amount an uncontested divorce runs, or a complicated divorce with a trial. He will hear your "story" and tell you. A good attorney will tell you the time line of what it going to happen.

I also highly recommend a therapist if you have emotional issues, at the billing rate of a good attorney you are there for the business side, not anger or emotional stuff. Though, do tell him everything, he needs all the infor to build your case. Examples such as abuse, medications, drinking, in some states these are not mitigating issues, but in others they are. A great deal depends on if you are both in agreement about getting divorced, it is all about compromise.

I looked at your profile and I am guessing that NB is New Brunswick, CA?

A friend on here, bugged is from Canada and she may have some input for you.. Canadian law is different, but above still applies.

Get as much financial documentation as possible. Make an inventory of everything in the house, with video if possible. You never know how people will react so you have to be prepared.

If you, or he, haven't left the home yet, plan on setting aside enough money to pay lawyers fees and to get you through the immediate future.

If you can get all your important documents such as house titles, car titles, anything that shows you have a vested interest in - put them somewhere else safe so he can't get them. You will need these items to show proof of joint assets.

I found a free divorce seminar and attended. I was given a lot of helpful pre-divorce advice from spousal support, child support, splitting of assets, you name it. See if you can find one available in your area.

Find a good lawyer who cares about you. You will need all the support you can get especially if he's fights you on it.

Talk to a couple of attorneys. Each can give you a consultation and usually at no cost. Attorneys are just people - some you'll like, some you may not. Get as much information as you can - then choose. My heart is with you. Good luck.

Hugs to you as you make some very difficult choices. There is a lot of info on the internet (junk too, so be careful), but education in divorce is the key. Also, think long and hard about this being the right thing for you--this has been the most difficult thing I have ever been through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone if they had anothere way out. Best wishes and know we are here to offer comfort and support and hugs!

This has been in my mind and I have thought about it a great deal over the years. My children have some terrible childhood memories because I made the choice to stay. Now that they are grown that guilt eats away at me. I know it is difficult and I have avoided it for a very long time...I keep telling myself that it ain't so bad and people have it a lot worse then me but when he has been backed against a wall, spitting in my face or raging and smashing things and calling meterrible names I want out.

I often think I am the crazy one and I try to avoid conflict...I try to be the perfect wife so he will treat me with respect..I avoid being around him as much as possible. I now sleep in my own room with the door locked so he won't come near me. My whole life is this room..I barely venture out of it when he is home. I am thankful he works evenings so I don't have to spend a lot of time with him. Maybe some of you are right...divorce is difficult to go through!! Since I have been it all these years maybe it would be easier to stay!!

Thank you everybody for all the wonderful advice, it is greatly appreciated!!

If you are suffering any kind of emotional or physical abuse at his hands, then you owe it to yourself to leave. No one in the world has to put up with mistreatment. Take care of yourself, it's no life living in a room alone and trying to make someone happy that can never be happy. Please, please do what is best for you, because he doesn't really care about anyone but himself. Love and hugs to you.