Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I am also new here,and thank you COWGIRLKATHI for referring this site to me.....As i have been with H for 20 yrs and married for 18, I think i came in just under the wire....LOL,my situation and kathi knows this as well, is that i am in the very beginnings stages of divorce,we have not even seperated yet,but in the fact that H is no longer respecting or trusting me for that matter,and we fight more than talk I believe it is time to go,I am 45 and have never been on my own.....H is slowly becoming a hermit,and expects me to do everything,yes he is a clinic depressive along with type 2 diabetic,still does not give him the right to treat me like his slave girl,I am tired on all accounts mentally ,emotionally,physically............I tried to be the best wife i could be,however H does not want that...as i said this is going to be a LONG road for me,so any advice or comment is more than welcome......Have a good night.
I'm a male and I wanted you to know that not all males are bad.
Plus you get a males view point on things.
My wife left me about three years ago and we just got divorced March of 2009.
You have to do what you think is best for you and everyone involved. .
I will caution you on really thinking about what you want to do .
Don't jump into something without giving it "Serious " thought. .weigh out all the good and bad factors now and what you think it will like after a divorce.
A divorce is not easy.... Thereâs lots of emotions involved .
If you can somehow work everything out with your husband then do so. If not..... Well better to leave. .
So, take it for what it's worth... It's only my opinion and I'm not always right. .
I will say this.... It's your life and the only one that you'll have here on earth. Live it to the utmost...
Ok........... Have a good day.... The best that you can make it. and take care.
B
Psâ¦. Make sure !
I'm a male and I wanted you to know that not all males are bad.
Plus you get a males view point on things.
My wife left me about three years ago and we just got divorced March of 2009.
You have to do what you think is best for you and everyone involved. .
I will caution you on really thinking about what you want to do .
Don't jump into something without giving it "Serious " thought. .weigh out all the good and bad factors now and what you think it will like after a divorce.
A divorce is not easy.... Thereâs lots of emotions involved .
If you can somehow work everything out with your husband then do so. If not..... Well better to leave. .
So, take it for what it's worth... It's only my opinion and I'm not always right. .
I will say this.... It's your life and the only one that you'll have here on earth. Live it to the utmost...
Ok........... Have a good day.... The best that you can make it. and take care.
B
Psâ¦. Make sure !
There are many merits to being on your own. Ask me, I just got my house back after having to borrow a friend's house and bed for over two years. Previous to that my DGSIME was verbally and physically abusive, had an affair (one that I know of), ran us into bankruptcy, was fired from her psychiatrist for prescription drug abuse, and and andonandonandon...
To this day I am loving every minute of my Life(tm). It is much different than it was back in the beginning of 2008, but I have to tell you, I would not go back to that for anything.
Then I was as scared and anxious about the future that you were. I had no place to go, I was pulled out of the house and could only take a few clothes, and that is all I had when I moved back in the house (movers cleaned it out). that means all of my family pictures, even of my deceased son, are gone. I found remnants of two pictures up in the attic that were torn in half.
Sorry, got on a tangent. What you feel is natural. First, be glad that you are feeling. There are times when you will feel numb. You will ride a roller coaster. It's not easy tearing apart a bonding of two people. But what you find when this happens, as long as you do not dwell too much on the pain, is that there is a person left. A little damaged and worse for wear, but it is you. And you get to start a lot of things over.
What I did is made sure that I had my support structure in place. This is your family and friends. Lean on them. This is the time when they come through the most for you. They will keep you sane. (Yeah, like I am anything close to sane! HA!)
Next, find ways to occupy some of your time. Get out with other people. This should be small things that you want to do. It should be something that if you cannot do it that evening for whatever reason, it's okay.My hobby has always been turning a wrench. I own a muscle car. So, the friend I was staying with, his parents gave me a 10-speed bike that they had gathering dust in their garage. They figured I could use. It was a 1978 model in good shape. I took the time to clean it up, re-grease and such, and I started riding the backroads of TN. I loved it. It was very good for my soul. I used to love riding a bike as a kid. So this is way cool for me. I also was just given a 1980 model and will be doing the same with it.
Vent here. We all do. It helps to get it out and work through the emotions rather than letting them fester and disease. Sorry that you are here. Welcome to the "club".