I'm so happy for you that you have come to this peaceful state. I only hope and pray that I will be there soon. Today is my 25th anniversary and I feel sadness over the lost relationship, I want to be able to feel only indifference as you do.

You are so strong to have come so far with such dignity and a wonderful attitude. Good for you! Much better things are ahead!

I'm glad you are feeling good today. Hugs to you.

Never thought I would get here! But I have found that indifferent feeling also. Strangely it feels so good!

I dont know how youcan live in the same house ,but I guess there's a reason.That indifference is hard to acquire.Just over the last 2 months with a good therapist I am regaining my INDIFFERENCE.
He's dead to me, now--forever..and Im a loving soul who personally never dreamed I'd have to bury the
corpse of ONE I once loved. BUT who murdered me.Thats survival.
Im learning. Im now meeting new people, starting to date.
Even as a breast cancer survivor still awaiting reconstruction on the rt-
-I am starting to FEEL whole.And alive.Not wounded damaged,torn.
Whole enough to present me ,and on the same level with OTHER evolved men.
Unafraid.
I Thank god for the therapist. And the faith that life will go on. And somewhere happiness awaits US, still.
Hold that thought.

And I will hold it for you too pemdcat.

It's great that you've come so far. Good for you!!! See at the top one day...

Isn't it amazing how we can feel this way towards someone we once loved so much, someone we once gave so much to/for. You are still a pillar of strength living in the same house. I will raise a glass of wine to you when I am out on my own too...I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you're going to beat me to it. I found the day after my 25th anniversary (April) I felt better.."the anniversary day" was over! HUGS!

Publishergirl..I have to ask..How do the people you are dating feel about the fact that you are still married? Or am I misunderstanding and the divorce is final...What keeps you all living together (other than little kids, that I understand) My kids are grown & gone, but I am very ill with endo and cannot make it financially on my own until this house is sold and in this market, we all know what a "joy" that can be. I truly feel like I live in hell...and hate it..Just can't find a way out. Help Please!

You give me hope for the future. I'm not yet divorced and quite honestly I don't know for sure that it will happen but it looks to be heading that way. I cannot even imagine feeling indifference when I love him so much right now. What he's doing is selfish but I haven't even gotten to the point of anger yet. I think I'm still in shock that he left - its been 7 weeks already and I'm still in shock.

I'm so happy to hear that you are in a better place. I hope to be there someday too. Hugs to you.

I am new to the group. I am not sure how to post my own statement so I will reply and tell u about myself too. I am 46 , not sure what exactly is going on here at home. My husband also known as ( Jeckle/Hyde) in my cell phone, live together and have been making-up/breaking-up for 25 yrs. Hence my sn. When we make up it is wonderful, but a fight is always lurking around corner. He is good man basically, but short fuse and very short tempered and quite cruel at times. He left 2 days ago and hasnt called, he packed so I am assuming he is at motel? We had fight before he left. So I also assume a divorce is coming or something . I am in such despair. I'm sure u all would understand that feeling. I am not working . I have some health problems. I am pretty much stuck at home by myself. In regards to my reply to Pemdcat.....Boy do I understand how u feel living in same place with your significant other ( didnt know if youre still married?). I am glad you are feeling ok about your situation now. I wish I could feel that indifference also. Also , isnt there a live chat on this site ? I didnt see one. Well, it was nice to think that there is somewhere I can go and someone will at least see my words of sadness and care .. Thank You all and my heartfelt best wishes to you.

It was my 31st anniversary in May and I was surprised not to be as upset about the day as I thought I would be. Maybe I'm starting to heal and see what an a**hole the ex has become. Anyway, want to wish you a happy feeling good anniversary!

Chrissy 614...I got a message from you and I think there is a bit of confusion...I am still living with my husband, can't get out yet due to financial situaiton...need to sel my house first..I know it is hard when you still love them so much, believe me, I went through that phase, but I guess since the emothional hell that he puts me through has toughened me to the point that I know for myself I would much better out of this mess...no one deserves to be abused in any matter, emotional, physical, financial, or anything else...we are suppose to be equal partners and if they can't get that, then it's time to re-think your decision of what you have give yourself into. Men can be real smooth talkers before they get you and once they do...they change..the Jeckell/Hyde theory is really true in some cases. My husband drinks, so that is one of the biggest problems in this relationship, amazing that he loves to blame me tho, since it is me that is dealing with this crummy illness! As though alcholism isn't a disease! I can only recommend that you might try a counselor if you have access to that with insurance or support groups. This is a good one...but live time is very helpful if you get into the right one, and if it's not the right one, move on until you find one that is. I wish you all the luck in the world...You have my love and support! Hang In There!

You go Pemdcat!!!!! You make me proud.

Hi There-My 27th anniversary was in March, and though we were still together, it was extremeley lonely and we didn't even celebrate it. OUCH, that one hurt! We finally just had a blow-up over dinner out one night, never really spoke much after that. That was a little over a month ago. I'm still trying to cope on a daily basis. My children are beginning to not want to come around, because I cry too much. I lost it today,and my 17 and 20 yr old were going for the weekend and I guess I was upset because everyone was just leaving me. So I let them know what I have been holding in for the past month. Sad thing, they thought I was trying to ruin their weekend, not really, I just let them know I was feeling left behind and abandonded. Also thought I was jealous of dad because he is still paying for their personal items and no longer for mine, not. I just asked them if they ever felt that he owed me more than that, and how could they sit back and support his actions by not telling him what he was doing is wrong. Am I wrong to expect my kids to tell dad its wrong to take all of the money and leave me with nothing after 30 years. Why can't they just tell him he sucks for what he did? Am I wrong for asking my adult children to show some compassion and support, instead of always telling me not to cry and thats why no one wants to be around me anymore?

SO TELL ME, WHEN DOES THIS FEELING OF ANOUMOSITY GO AWAY? I don't want to drive my kids away, but if they don't change their way of thinking and the way they treat me, I may just leave them to their father and they can all live happily ever after. I just can't right now because I don't want him to feel like he was won anything. That is the only reason I have not left already, I'm not giving him anymore than I absolutely have to.