Nohappy I am glad to hear that you finally told those two "well-meaning" gals that the information they have been passing along is NOT HELPFUL to you. This is the first of many BOUNDARIES that you will have to set to maintain your sanity in the coming months.This is an important lesson -- one that MANY of us had to do and which is often advised to our newcomers.

As to deleting an earlier post -- to the best of my knowledge, the only way that can be done is to send an email to the Powers That Be here on DS. We have had several extremely offending posts here over the years and it only takes one or two complaints to have them removed. I don't know what you want to delete -- most of the time, when the response dies down, it just gets so far down on the discussion list most people forget about it. However, if there is something sensitive contained in it that you don't want anyone to read anymore, you can try having it removed.

At the bottom of this page there is a link you can click to HELP and I believe from there, you can find a link to send a complaint. I would guess that you could use that same link to send a request to have an earlier discussion removed.

Good job on setting healthy boundaries. I had to do that too with my stepdaughter--what I refer to as the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

We still practice this a lot but every now and then she needs to vent about her dad (he now practices the same verbal/emotional abuse crap he used on me on her).

Glad setting boundaries made you feel better.

Hugs!

Soooo proud of you nohappy.... we got it in us, sometimes it takes a while to bring it out.... BUT when we do, our strength is powerful!!!

HUGS!!!

Way to go!

You can contact a community leader from another board and they can close a thread. Some have powers to delete one completely but I don't know if they have to have administrative rights to that particular board or not.

That is a big step and glad you made it. I had to tell my daughters the same thing and it was hard because sometimes they were trying to work through their own issues. I finally realized that I would have to listen to them and help them but didn't want random information shared with me. It was just too painful. AT the time, one of the daughters had a longterm boyfriend that was staying with me (before he entered the military - needed a place to stay) and he seemed to relish in the fact that he had knowledge that the thought would "help"...it hurt so much to hear some of what he said. I had to tell him the same thing. It took him longer to get it. lol

This is such a roller coaster ride through hell and back, I am glad to have people here that understand.

Good for you! I'm very proud of you. No there is no way to delete posts

Just remember, and hard to do, but try, that all that real estate he can take up in your head, he is not siting around thinking about you, as much as you are thinking about him. Good job to let people know that you do not want any information, even what seems like well meaning information. I have had to in my life, actually put my hand out and say stop!

People can mean well when you are in what I call divorce mode, but they also sometimes like the drama. It is a lot easier to get involved in someone else's divorce, or marriage, than to deal with your own. That is why you have to take others out of the drama. I had one good friend I could trust, she called me every single night for a year and half. She was sincere, and she said Ms Terey's divorce was live altering for not just me, but her too. She went back to work because after 25 years of being home raising her family, she realized she needed to get a life. The month my ex moved out for the last time! We really supported each other, my sounding board, cohort in this! She also caught her husband cheating a year after my divorce. She and he went to my therapist, and so far still together.

For many of us that is the comfort of being with like minded people here on After Twenty, we are going through the same situation or have been through it. I came here a month after my divorce, and I was looking for like minded people that understood where I was after getting divorced after 28 years of marriage. I had great friends in my off line life, who supported me through the divorce, but unless you have walked into this fire and out the other side, they really did not quite get it. SO hang in there and baby steps, one day at time. ((HUGS))

Thanks again all. I am really trying. I do catch myself chatting bout him but make myself stop and change subject. My head has no more room for him. Keeping friends close and the rest I don't need. I don't associate with any of the in-law families. Not mine any more and I don't see them reaching out to me. I have many many talks with God just thanking him for what I have accomplished so far. And asking for his help in what is to come.
So very glad I stumbled across this group so long ago. You are all such dear friends. My hugs and love to all.