I did, but I had no choice but to buy what was available. If you do not like what you see, try renting for a while and take your time looking for something that you like. I loved it after a while, to be able to shut that door and the world out. But sometimes, being alone is the best thing for us. We do not see it at that time, as times goes on, we will appreciate the peace and quiet. We need that desperately to heal and move on. You will be fine. Hugs

^Amen to knuckle. Loving the peace and finding myself again. Did move in with Mom but she has remarried - ugh - at age 78 to a 89 year old WWII Vet. He is healthy and strong and talks too much (for me)...loll but she is happy and I'm enjoying redecorating, reading and exercising. Planning my first bike trip in March. Best wishes to you in finding your new home. Renting a room or efficiency til you find that permanent place sounds likea good idea

I agree with Knuckle as well. The sale of our family home closes next Thursday. I too decided to rent for awhile. My life seemed too unstable to buy a permanent home right out of the gate. I'm not sure what I want to do or even where I really want to live a year from now. I decided that I needed to work on my emotional stability first. Then I'll start planting roots. I found a small rental a good 20 miles from where my ex lives. May not seem like much distance, but I'm hoping it's enough to limit run-ins. I also decided to take it a step further and I sold anything that reminded me of him or our time together. Couches, chairs, our bed, knick knacks, even art on my walls. If I thought of him when I looked at it, it had to go! I used the money I earned to shop for new (well, primarily used) replacements.
I moved into my rental this week. It's really nice to have a space of my own. When I walk in, all I see is me & my children. It hasn't been easy, but it is a start.

I also agree with knuckle. My situation was a bit different. This was my 2nd divorce to the same man. The 1st divorce I bought him out of my farm...which I still have but have rented it out. With this 2nd divorce he bought me out of the little house we bought together to start over in...it was a small payout. I have 2 small dogs and I could not find a place that would take two...so I started shopping around for a small house to buy. Much to my amazement...with the interest rate so low...I could buy into a low end house cheaper than rent...so that is what I did. Over the first 2 years I turned my basement into a one bedroom suite and rented it out...it is a great mortgage helper and I didnt feel alone...although I was alone upstairs. I guess it was a bit of a mind thing. The thing about renting is it gives you a chance to explore your options with a clear mind...just dont sign a lease...it could interfere with jumping on a great deal...Big Hugs...Kathy

I moved out of the marital home, taking only my personal possessions with me. I rented for 14 months, while shopping for a house. I was a little apprehensive about living alone, I never had before! However, I found out I really love it. The peace of mind is like nothing else. You don't have to worry about bothering anyone, or anyone bothering you. Your home becomes your sanctuary, like it was always meant to be...at least that is my experience.

I also agree with Knuckle. I couldn't wait to be on my own. I found a little rental place until the divorce went through, then bought my own house. The rental was at the end of a dead-end street and on the edge of a park and farmland. It was perfect for dealing with all the emotions and issues that come with the end of a long marriage, which I needed to do on my own. My house is not that far from my ex's place but with winding streets and different lifestyles, I rarely run into him or even pass him on the road. I still need time alone, so it's ideal for me. Though I do look for company more often these days, I really appreciate coming home to 'my haven of peace' with no one else to worry about.

love and hugs
kamary

I moved in with my parents. We're a super close family and they offered and, after some careful consideration (and AGAINST the advice of all three of my sisters btw!) I chose to go with them. It was GREAT! My mom got on my nerves a wee bit at first, and vice verse I'm sure (LOL) but it all worked out in the end. AND my dad is Italian and a great cook :) I lost weight at first going to the gym but then couldn't resist all the pasta and fried foods...yum.

My only issue was that it was a modest home and my bedroom tiny, so to have my "own" space I basically had to be in my room on my bed. It's where I watched tv, read, did my job search.....pretty much it was the only space that belonged to me!

Just to add, my parents go south for a few month in the winter, so when I moved in in September I knew I'd have the place to myself 6 months later for at least a few months. I stayed about 1.5 years altogether. It cost me NOTHING which was a bonus, and it relieved any burden of paying bills etc. Not just financial, but even organizing a house etc. I helped, of course, but I was still working out the details of my separation the first few months. Worked for me.

I never had the choice to stay in the marital home. My ex threw me out, in front of my kids no less. I was too devastated at the time to realize that legally he had no right to do that. But, hindsight is 20-20. So, off I went into my first ever apartment completely and utterly alone. It was terrible and wonderful all at the same time. My parents offered to let me live with them, much like iammine's situation. I love my parents, but I knew that I just couldn't live with them and hope to still like them. I thought about finding a roommate, but the same problems might arise. It's hard to live with another person and not want to strangle them at times. Given that I was married at the ripe old age of 20 and never lived on my own before, I knew that living alone was what I needed.

I've been on my own now for almost 3 years and am starting to develop a plan for what type of home I might want to have for myself eventually. I'll soon be moving again after graduation to an awesome townhouse!! I'm thrilled. No more noisy neighbors above me. I'll finally have peace and quiet. I think you might benefit from renting a while until you are more sure about what you want, where you want to live, and what goals you have for yourself. It's much easier to assess those things when you can take a step back and eliminate the financial obligations associated with owning a home.

All the best to you!

I still have my kids with me, so I'm not alone and I am still in the house. I do think of where I want to be when the girls leave. I still have a bit of time and I'm glad they are here with me. God knows what He's doing....

AFFORDABILITY certainly determines one's choice more than short term feelings. Many divorced women might find home ownership out of reach since mortgage requires employment . And the idea of a 30 year mortgage which runs into the retirement age might not seem attractive unless you anticipate having a roommate. In the days of the Depression, people did become creative and the sitcom "The Golden Girls" too showed creativity. If you are considering a roommate /friend, just make sure you obtain a financial report and sign a rental agreement which enforces the terms of who pays specifically what , the amount and when....reduces any legality when incompatibility becomes a problem.