This is a book that I'm about to return to the library. The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace. Even though it's very zen and Buddhaist, I'm not really in forgiveness mode as of yet, But there are some good quptes about kindness and peace and anxiety, which help me a bit. (like if I feel a teeny bit better, I feel that helped). One of my biggest problems is my anxiety, and I love this quote from Persian poet Hafiz: "Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I'd like to see you in better living conditions"

For getting through the divorce and the emotional process that entails, I could list 100 books and there is a good list of them already here on Divorce After 2+ Years -- SOMEWHERE. Maybe another member knows the link that will get you there without having to scroll through all the old discussion topics.

As for the NEXT PHASE -- which would be considering finding a new partner -- my favorite is:

"Date or Soul Mate" by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D.
Now, yes, Dr. Warren is the founder of eHarmony -- BUT this book is like the Bible when it comes to figuring out what you NEED and WANT in a relationship.It is the single-best resource for self-analysis in those terms.

I have recommended it many times and even bought a few extra copies on the cheap and sent them around to DS members a year or so ago. GREAT BOOK!

You DO NOT HAVE TO subscribe to eHarmony.com to use what you learn in this book, either! I did, and definitely hit the jackpot, but it's not a requirement.

Good luck to you!

When you get to the dating part after divorce, I am the one that recommended the book, Are You the One for Me? I also recommend Sex Over Fifty by Joel Block Ph.d. D'Angelis has a number of books, all are in paperback.

I read all kinds of self help books during my marriage.. and find that once I got divorced, not too interested in self help any longer. I know who I am, and I don't have to figure out who my ex is or was any longer.I was trying to figure out him and how I could help fix the marriage. Know thyself, fix what you can about yourself, and accept what you can't or do not want to do. AND.. don't settle when dating, no one is perfect, you are not going to change someone else, but you do not have to put up with anything you do not want to! Lately I hear from people dating, but I don't think anyone else will want me... Nonsense. For me, one of the gifts of divorce that I love.. I can do whatever I want in life! Queen of my World!

The Language of Letting Go
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing
Healing is a Choice
Codependency No More
When the Vow Breaks
Love must be Tough by Dr. James Dobson

I agree with kathi, Date or Soulmate was the BEST! She recommended it to me.

Date or Soulmate is AWESOME! (Thanks Cowgirl--she recommended it to me). I would also recommend The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans--really opened my eyes about verbal abuse and 'crazy making' behavior my ex put me through. I made me understand that much of what happened to kill our marriage WAS NOT MY FAULT. It's an easy read.

I am like Cowgirl Kathi, I've read so many books during this journey and still continue to find titles to read. Just head to your local library and start digging.

Hugs!