Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

need help

sue38
sue38
What is wrong with me,i fill real shit this afternoon got them feelings that i ahd when he first left 16 months ago,ive done the divorce and i been feeling real good for months,got a new fella so whats wrong,i just wanna cry but i no i cant cos it dont solve nothing,ive been the 1 giving everyone else advice saying things get better look at me and here i am having them feelings myself.Help !!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
The roller coaster is headed down hill but it will go back up soon enough. It's normal to feel sad at times. This too shall pass. Hugs to you. Go and do something fun.
pemdcat
pemdcat
WE all have tem at times. We spent many years ith the x/stbx and I don't think you can ever r totally shut them out.....the best we can do is try....try to work through the feeling that catch us by suprise....that smell, familiar some, sight or just because....we all get it once in a while.....just have a good cry in private and it will pass. The cries will get farther and farther apart, but ai believe will always show up.....AJJ
MsTerey
MsTerey
Oh Sue, I am there with you... I have had the same thing happen to me in the last few months, and from what I know this does happen. Crying is ok at times, letting it out can be good. It does solve a few emotions at times. I go along and think I am doing well and them Bam, something sets me off. I was divorced in April 08 and he moved out in May 07, after a lot of years together it is not that easy to just forget this or not have emotions about it.

Does this have anything to do with dating someone new? Let me go into therapist mode and ask, is there something you can think of that made you go there with the feelings. BIG HUGS
sue38
sue38
MsTerey looks like we went throught the same shit at the same time lol i went for a interview last week and thought i had a good chanve at getting it but sadly i didnt maybe it was that knock back.The question about my new man no i dont think it does cos what we have is a easy relationship no hassle just have fun which works for me.Think im just having a bad day maybe it dont have anything to do with my ex.I saw him tonight (he looks after my son while i go work)and there was no feelings there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sue, you're taking a step backward today and it is normal. I've been divorced a year now and there are days that I am so happy that I am free of my ex and life is good and then there will days I would practically locked myself in my office and ball my eyes out. I can't explain why when my friends asked, is just this sadness came over me. Hugs to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everyone here is right. You've come a long way. It's okay to cry or be sad about the past or the future. About anything. Did you ever just cry when you were married? I bet you did. You're doing well and you have a good guy in your life. If you feel the need to cry - just cry. I don't think any of us will ever be totally free of all the emotions that we've "earned". The holidays are going to be tough for me I know. I usually have a day or two of the sparkle and glitter that reminds me of my entire life with people I loved that are gone or have moved on. So I cry. I get melonchaly (sp). Boy - this year is really gonna suck. Geez oh man - I better plan for that. Good luck to you now and always.