Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Now you guys don't laugh but I did something last night that I have not been able to do since my separation and divorce. I watched "Sleepless in Seattle". I didn't seek it out. It came to me by way of my TV but I actually sat and watched it. It was one of my favorite movies and yet it was one of "our movies" that we saw a few years into our marriage. I still have not been able to watch "When Harry Met Sally" which was one of our first dates. That will come. Baby steps, baby steps (2 years later).
I just love Tom Hanks. Dream........
After being final divorced for two years, I sat down one afternoon to watch some home-made videos that had been on the tv shelf for YEARS. Tom was in and out of the room when I had them on; I had to identify a lot of the people to him because some of these videos were close to 20 years old. (Some of those people have aged (just a little) in that time LOL.)
I had hesitated a long time about ever watching these videos again because the X "starred" in a lot of them. He was always a real "ham" when in front of a camera and could be quite charming. I used to tell him that he missed his calling by NOT becoming a stand-up comedian. But watching them after so many years really made something clear to me. He was always Mr. Clown in the company of others; he went out of his way to make other people laugh. To the world at large, he most certainly looked like Mr. Perfect Nice Guy. In the few hours it took to watch these old videos, it was amazing to me how clearly I could see that he was one person in public and a whole different one when no one else was around. In retrospect, it was all VERY TELLING.
Did watching these movies make me cry? No. Did they bring on a bout of "wistful thinking?" No. I really enjoyed all the footage of my niece and nephew when they were little and of my first born grandson and of the farm in different stages of remodeling and all the footage of parties we hosted here over the years. It was as if I was looking at someone else's home movies -- I was comfortably detached from them. Once I had seen them, I packed them in a box with some other memoirs and put them under my bed.
Time is the utlimate healer. I am glad to hear that you were able to watch this movie without falling apart. That's real progress!
Good for you.
That's a step forwarde still movies that I can't watch yet,
Still songs that I have to turn off.
I gave my x all the old movies and pictures.
I don;t think that I want to see them anymore.
I may be wrong ,but thT'S ME .
sOOOOOOO, GOOD FOR YOU. hAPPY FOR YOU .
tIMEMAN
These little milestones are great reminders that we are getting better every day!
These little milestones are great reminders that we are getting better every day!