I can only hope and pray that I will be where YOU are on the one year date of the destruction of my marriage.
You should be proud.....you made it through the storm !!
Congrats !

Joesuzzi - You will get there. Really, it takes time and everybody has a different time frame. I remember thinking that life would NEVER return to any form of normal. I just have a new normal now as will you. It is the absolute toughest thing I have ever been through and don't wish it on anyone.

The day I decided to start getting out and living my life and turn off my thoughts of him was when I started to turn the corner!

Hugs
Liz

Thanks for the hug Liz.
Sometimes I feel like I am blind...and walking down a road/path I have never walked before. People like you give me hope....I have followed your posts, along with several others. I am trying to learn how to do this !
THANK GOD that there is you and the others here to lead the way in this dark, unfamiliar place.

Yes, we are here. I have actually been on this site for over 7 years. I came here after the ex's first affair and WOW did I meet some amazing people and gain so much strength and support. I left for a while and then returned. I am happy to have found this group.

One day the light will shine again and the path will be clear and you will see the wonderful world that surrounds it. Don't rush it. Let it happen, let it out. If you stuff it or pretend it isn't there it seems worse!

There are times when something will trigger those old feelings -- be it receiving The Papers in the mail or coming across an old photograph or hearing a certain piece of music. For me, it's often in the grocery store -- I call them "food triggers" -- memories associated with cooking certain dishes because your H or significant other liked them so much.

I said a little prayer in the grocery store this morning, in fact, as I was ISO some easy things to make for myself now that I am trying to get settled here in my new home in Naples, FL. Felt a little shaky, but didn't let the tears come - waited until I got home and by then, there weren't too many. But the release felt good.

I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers as we are both on a similar journey right now. xoxo

Kathi - you know you're an inspiration to so many of us on here. I for one thank you so much for your posts. You're going to be great in FL!

and to clarify now that I have had a day to wake up....Today is the one year anniversary of the divorce being final....I have just had a few rough months and finally put it all to rest last night. Tonight, I CELEBRATE

On occasion I get the weepies that seem to come from no where. They don't happen as often as they used to and sometimes it's difficult to figure out what the trigger was. It's kind of a "how in the heck did I get here?" and then I'm over it. I say it's puzzling because I don't miss him or want my old life back by any means...it's just weird. Life goes on.

I have not reached the one year mark yet, i don't even remember the exact date, haha! It was July or August last year. The day the judge made the judgement in the court room i had this massive weight lifted off my shoulders, and again when the final decree came in the mail. Ever since then Ive just felt wonderful and not sad at all about the divorce. We had been separated quite some time and the divorce it self took over two years so i was beyond ready when the thing was finally over!

Congratulations Cantstay2

I am looking forward to being able go look back. Just far enough back to see how far I've come. I prefer this me..but Kathi I do the meal thing too. Just yesterday. Esp now that we can grill outside. He loved that. But now my son does the trilling. And misted those testy moments happen out of the blue to me too. But less thoughts of him. I miss his family but I gave them up too. No ties at all. His daughters call but we have guidelines. Nothing bout him ..do far do good .

Cantstay I applaud you. Many hugs your way.

Well done! I'm glad you've come through the ugly night ok. How far have you come??!!

I had been through so much prior to the papers' arrival that I didn't feel anything much on that day, but I still have days and moments (3 1/2 years later) when the tears for the old life and the old dreams appear from nowhere. Going to a wedding alone for the first time (just after separation) was a little scary. Lovely family members took care of me and it was ok. Not too many tears. I managed the second one with hardly a hiccough last weekend.

I don't remember the exact date of divorce either. I'm just glad that it's all over.

love and hugs
kamary

It was a year Friday, May 3. I don't even know what reminded me of the date. But it was a good night this year, not so much last year.