Read my article in the news above.

If anybody EXPECTs any thing from you tell them where they can go.

A good friend will not expect anything from you they will just know that you will do your best to help them when they need it.

I remember talking to one of my new friends out here in Saudi Arabia and I was insisting again and again and again that you cannot have expectations in any healty relationship.

Finally the light of reason dawned on him and he said EXPECTATIONS ARE ALL ABOUT CONTROL.

So my advice is if anybody EXPECTs stuff from you either directly or indirectly let them know you are not having it, if they don't agree they are excess baggage.

support, thank you for sharing your feelings. Showing kindness and being good to others, having a positive attitude, DOES NOT mean being a door mat. It means "wanting" to share of ourselves with others. It is the attitude that you develope that will foster an atmosphere of kindness.

We cant do things for others expecting them to reciprocate just as we dont want them to do that with us. We wont always recieve blessings back from the person we give them too. If we do things for others expecting them to appreciate it, then we will feel let down and hurt. Do only that which you feel in your heart shows love to others. Hugs

I don't do for others with the intention of getting something back. It is that I find that I seem to ALWAYS be the giver and others in my life take what I give. I am rarely, if ever, on the receiving end.

Shelly4 has a point but I stand by what I say.

In these cases seperate the two things. What will come to you in life will come to you whatever.

I just say surround yourself with people who are well intentioned they don't have to be positive people, not yet at any rate, just people who either:

1. Are trying to be positive
2. Want to be positive
3. You can prevail on them that they should try to be positive

What you need to stay clear of is negative people, takers who are only in it for what they can get out of it.

Many people in positive thinking circles say surround yourself only with positive people. I don't subscribe to this view because you are missing out on people who could be very positive in the future.

What I do say catagorically however is dump the negative people who only take and never give.

What if a good number of the "takers" are people in your family?

In the case of children you will always feel like you are just giving and giving but you do it anyway.

As for adult members of your family, they have to respect you as the adult you are, maybe you need to talk over where you stand with them.

A problem that some people have is learning to modify their relation with people as they get older.

You may try to make other new friends outside your family.

I think that I have set myself up as the giver and now I need to take care of myself and my needs.

support, you remind me so much of myself when I was younger with young children. I know it is very difficult to raise children, especially when they appear shy. Some of that shyness may be coming from the fact that you are doing too much for them. If you see a therapist, please ask her about co dependency. If you dont, please read about it and see where some changes and coping skills may help you. You will be amazed at how different your life can be if you let go of power, control, and expectations. Everything you have talked about here suggests that working through it could help you a great deal. Hugs