I am not sure that is possible support. Honestly, when my children are hurting and I am there with them, I feel every bit of their emotion. I think that is the bond a parent has to their child. I believe it is even stronger for a mother. I dont think you ever want to get rid of that emotion.

Even now with my 24 year old, when we talk about his going to jail and I know he is afraid and hurting, I cry with him. I "feel" every ounce of his pain. Then, I pray, work through it, and try to move on. I think the key is in not letting it "become" part of us and dwelling on it. I cant carry it with me as if it is my burden.

Hugs

That is what I am trying so desperately to figure out....how can I not carry my children's issues as my burden? And how can I stop dwelling on my children's concerns and problems?

support, as a mother with very young children, I think it is natural to have a difficult time "letting go". We want to protect them and be there for them to make them feel better. It wasnt until mine got a little older that I could begin to let go. This is what I try to do:

Hear the issue
comfort them
try to help them understand it and work through it
Ask God to help you accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (Serenity Prayer)
Then let it go
I try not to carry it with me by emotionally letting it go. You might have to do something visual at first, like throuwing it up in the air and watching it explode (Bobbie Dee's suggestion). Or, using some of the things we have talked about previously. The thing Is that it will take work, it wont just happen.

Blessings

One other thought is that your self esteem wont allow you to let go. You dont want them to feel like you do so you work hard to protect them.

The more you work on you, the more you move forward, the better you feel about yourself, The easier it will become to let those things go.

WOW! What a revelation! It is so true...I do not want my kids to feel like I do so I want to protect them any way I can.

support, I love you. You are like a breath of fresh air. I love how you have revelations. Please keep being you. You are truly growing faster than most people I have ever known. Hugs

Thanks so much! I want to prevent my kids from feeling the pain of people being mean to them or hurting them that I have experienced...but I CAN't prevent this, so I am left feeling sad for them.

The big difference is, support, that you recognize and understand their pain and you can help them work through it in a way others never did for you.

Its the same way I look at my children. My youngest son struggles with the symptoms of bipolar disorder.It breaks my heart to see it happen, but after years of living with it myself I understand enough to help him. I didnt have anyone to help me with it.

So, God has blessed you with the power to be able to help your kids in a way you were never helped. You can break the cycle of fear in your family by teaching them positive ways to work through it. Hugs

Its all about perspective Support, when you were growing up how many times did you feel sad? How many times have your children felt sad in comparison to that.

You have to realise that you are doing a wonderful job as a mother and the more you feel happy about what you are doing the better a mother you will become.

I had alot of problems dealing with the over controlling influence of my father, even though I knew that he was not trying to hurt me by intention.

One day it dawned on me that he had been treated much worse than his mother than I had been treated by him. He had his start position in life and he vowed that he would not make the same mistakes as his mother. The result was that I started from a better point than he did thanks to him.

I have been able to reach my current state of peace of mind in part because my father gave me the best start he knew how.