I am struggling with that too. Mine is 15 and she has been like that for a long time. I try to do the positive affirmations and build up her sense of being - but it is a struggle.
I try to get her thinking about other things. Happy things.
How good she is doing in school or new friends. All the positives.
I am interested to see what responses that you get on this because I am in need of some suggestions too. : )

My daughter is 16 and boy do I know what you mean.

I figure it like this. Most people need positive encouragement from time to time. Kids need it probably a few times a day. Then there are teenagers...they need it every hour. If I could add a msg to her ipod that she would get subliminally(sp?)....wow, what a novel idea...LOL

It is interesting because my daughter was an extremely good and happy baby. My son had colic until he was about a yr old. These days they seem to have changed roles.

Only advice I could offer would be to try positive encouragement at every opportunity. That's what I'm trying to do. I have been making it a point to go in my daughter's room and kiss her and tell her I love her. I have also tried to remember to ask her how her day was.

support, if it helps you NONE of my four boys are now the way I thought they would be based on their behavior as a baby. There are so many things that play a part in an individuals temperment and behavior. Because of the enormous amount of work I have done on myself, it has been easier for me to understand where each of my children are coming from.

We have to accept that, like ourselves, each of our children have their own individual personality. Add to that possible trauma, learned behavior, environement and the years they have experienced it and you have a package that has to be unwrapped. The early in age you begin to understand yourself, the better you will understand you children.

I believe it begins with personality. The following site may help you begin there......

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_big_five_personality_traits

Accepting your children for "who" they are and working to positively reinforce that, will help them love themselves.

Hugs

Sometimes I feel that no matter what I do or say, my child who tends to be negative remains negative....very upsetting to me. I tend to have my mood set by my negative child. When my negative kid is having a good day, I do too...when having a bad day, I do too.

Maybe your "negative" child is going to be the more sensitive of your children.

Maybe he/she is just affected more by external stimuli, whether it be emotional or physical.

Maybe this child would benefit from some stress reducing activities.

My son calms down quite a bit and appears more relaxed when I put the TV on the classical music station. He also appears more focused and less hyper.

Support, you have to consider the possibility that this is attention seeking behaviour in which case there may be drivers for this behaviour outside the home. Is your child ok at school? Are there other children that are making life difficult?

You have to consider these things because your child could really be suffering and this negative behaviour is a cry for help.

Another possibility is that some people when thy feel bad want to make other people feel bad around them. This could be learned behaviour but in some cases it is just how they are. Which ever way round if there is one thing that as a parent you should consider the most importan lesson a child can learn it is that actions to make another person feel bad should be allowed to succeed.

What ever the reason when you react to your negative child, by all means show concern for how they are feeling but never let them see that by them feeling bad, you feel bad. Rather your thought should be that if you stay positive it will help them feel better about things.

While trying to be happy may seem to you lake you are betraying your feelings and faking it, all that means is that you must try to convince yourself more that you can be happier.

Make an affiramtion for your self and when your child is feeling bad go and stand in front of your mirror and say for yourself.

'I will stay calm and happy for my shild'

I hope this helps you.

Support, you have to consider the possibility that this is attention seeking behaviour in which case there may be drivers for this behaviour outside the home. Is your child ok at school? Are there other children that are making life difficult?

You have to consider these things because your child could really be suffering and this negative behaviour is a cry for help.

Another possibility is that some people when thy feel bad want to make other people feel bad around them. This could be learned behaviour but in some cases it is just how they are. Which ever way round if there is one thing that as a parent you should consider the most importan lesson a child can learn it is that actions to make another person feel bad should be allowed to succeed.

What ever the reason when you react to your negative child, by all means show concern for how they are feeling but never let them see that by them feeling bad, you feel bad. Rather your thought should be that if you stay positive it will help them feel better about things.

While trying to be happy may seem to you lake you are betraying your feelings and faking it, all that means is that you must try to convince yourself more that you can be happier.

Make an affiramtion for your self and when your child is feeling bad go and stand in front of your mirror and say for yourself.

'I will stay calm and happy for my child'

I hope this helps you.

Support, you have to consider the possibility that this is attention seeking behaviour in which case there may be drivers for this behaviour outside the home. Is your child ok at school? Are there other children that are making life difficult?

You have to consider these things because your child could really be suffering and this negative behaviour is a cry for help.

Another possibility is that some people when thy feel bad want to make other people feel bad around them. This could be learned behaviour but in some cases it is just how they are. Which ever way round if there is one thing that as a parent you should consider the most important lesson a child can learn it is that actions to make another person feel bad should not be allowed to succeed.

What ever the reason when you react to your negative child, by all means show concern for how they are feeling but never let them see that by them feeling bad, you feel bad. Rather your thought should be that if you stay positive it will help them feel better about things.

While trying to be happy may seem to you lake you are betraying your feelings and faking it, all that means is that you must try to convince yourself more that you can be happier.

Make an affiramtion for your self and when your child is feeling bad go and stand in front of your mirror and say for yourself.

'I will stay calm and happy for my child'

I hope this helps you.