Hi, I am new to this group but not to DS. My mother has been diagnoses with mild dementia about 10 years ago, but since my Dad passed away 5 years ago, her dementia seems to accelerate. Mom still has some cognition: she reads the newspaper, conduct a normal conversations, mobile, good physical health (except for the brain), sociable and have many friends. Those are her good points. However, her bad points are: short-term memory loss (unable to remember events that happen 10 minutes before or day of the week, unable to control her impulse, do strange things (steal my underwear, use my bath towels and tooth brush, forget to wear a shirt outside and prances around the garden in her bra), accusatory ( thinks that her children steals her personal possessions e.g my grandfather's pictures, my aunts' phone numbers), delusional (thinks the secret service is secretly recording her in house activities to report to the president), hallucinatory (hear things).

My mother has developed chest pain and recently has been diagnosed with occlusion in one of her coronary blood vessels. Treatment is easy: angioplasty or stenting that occluded vessel to revascularise the heart. Yet my mother's impulsive behaviour and memory loss is preventing the cardiac surgeon from considering her for surgery, simply because she would not obey instructions (since she cannot remember them). Lately, the COVID restrictions have kept Mom housebound, and her antics and strange behaviours have just gone up by many notches. I try to ask for social support but COVID is preventing health workers from accessing Mom. I try talking to the cardiologist but he is too afraid to operate because the surgery requires Mom to be awake and obeying instructions. The geriatricians have been avoiding us due to COVID (and because Mom is coughing), and the family doctor will not see Mom except to do telephone consultation. That only leaves me to treat Mom, but I cannot do so because of Mom's blackmails, tantrums and antics. I am a health professional but I don't want to treat a relative, especially my Mom.

I cannot think straight. It is as if I am living with a crazy person in the house who cannot remember that 10 minutes before, she has screamed, yelled and threw things during her ranting episodes. What should I do in this instance if COVID is preventing health workers to access and treat my crazy Mom. I feel as if I am a victim of child abuse, and I am 50 years old ! I really appreciate any advice given so that I can head towards the right directions in terms of treatment for Mom. Marie