I've also lost both of my parents, I completely understand the issues you must be dealing with, I lost my father suddenly when he was 52 and my mother 20 years later. Though my father was unexpected, my mother's death was a slow transition from some broken bones to a fairly quick spiral to her passing, about 6 months total. You have my deepest sympathies for you loses, I fully understand your feelings and the overwhelming loss. It doesn't "exactly" get better, especially for a sudden death, it makes it hard to deal with corresponding holidays, birthdays but the way I've dealt with it is through humor. I try, on purpose, to remember the laughter we shared, the massive laugh attacks, the crying because she would ask me to taste the cranberry juice to see if she'd like it, only to realize it had been expired for 2 years, but until then, she never asked anyone to taste it as she was a super picky eater!

This year is tougher than most for me, my only child, my 31 year old daughter and only child, who told I horribly had to tell that her of three of her four grandparents had passed, the other her mom told her and wouldn't have if she could have avoided it, she had her brain destroyed in a car accident on stupid Dingus day near Buffalo, NY and she was declared brain dead on the 24th. She, as per her wishes and both of us divorced parents agreed that as much of her should be donated, she saved at least 6 lives and made countless others better. Think about what you parents did to make other lives better, not your loss, it makes it much easier to accept, even if donations had nothing to do with it. I can't donate myself, though I will give my body to research. I caught hep C while in the Army, but my hope is I can help heal someone in the future.

Not only do I remember what good my parents did for us two kids, I think about all the great stuff they did for people they never even met. I hope your parents were like that, they may not have broadcast it as a way to advance what others felt, they might have done it on the "sly" like my folks did, they weren't looking for acknowledgement, they might have done it just because that's what they were raised with, people who go above and beyond, and I'll bet anything they did exactly that!

Keep in your heart what your parents did to make you love them, but also keep in your heart that they probably did more for others than you'll ever even know about. I had no idea about the gifts they had given until after my mom had passed, it was truly humbling. God Bless what you are dealing with, it won't exactly get better, but you will eventually understand who they actually were with time and love them even more for it. There is nothing wrong with that at all. My love and hugs to you in the biggest way possible.

Sorry, I miss typed, I horribly had to tell her about 3 of her grandparents passing.

Jeez, I was all over the place after reading it again, My brain was working so much faster than my fingers would type, something that all of us in this situation can probably relate to.