Day by day dealing w AnxietyAgoraphobiaPanic Community Group
I am not going anywhere,I am flesh and blood,I love my family and I deserve my self respect.Sometimes I feel like it is too late when Anxiety,Panic,and Agoraphobia comes over me like a wave.I will keep living and trying to be the best in life that I can be.HELPING EACH OTHER HELP THEMSELVES! ONE STEP AT A TIME, EVEN IF IT'S BABY STEPS!
Even my P nurse has taken back to square one, after having some very non supportive experiences with a so called support agency. I am finding myself shutting myself away more and more, because I just can't face the outside world, without a human guidedog. The children have made it painfully clear they do not have time to support me, not that I expect them to take me anywhere, just a phone call would be nice. However I am now not answering the phone when it rings, but will check for a message later. I am not answering the door, unless someone is expected and have made arrangements with me. I am angry with myself for my failings, but everything seems just to hard to be bothered. I stay in bed for days, and only get up when I have to. The new meds are not working for my depression, and I am contemplating the easy way out of all of this crap. The only thing that stops me is the love and kindness of my dog, and I know that sounds stupid, but he is the only one I can count on. I fear I am falling right to the bottom, and don't know if I have the strength to climb up again - for what? I know I am not alone in the fight with the terribly debilitating condition, and would love to hear how others are coping with the day to day dealing with so called life.
I think it's mostly due to perimenopause and maybe my dose of Citalopram is too high. (40 mg). It worked at first but now it seems like I'm not taking any meds at all. I can't figure it out and I'm tired of having to talk to my GP who is about as sensitive as an abrasive pad.
I am considering going off my meds (at least lowering it to 20mg for now and seeing what that does. I figure at this stage I have nothing to lose as life is pretty much a challenge right now anyway.
I've been at the bottom a lot (have had agoraphobia for a very long time) and there have been plenty of times where I have not had the strength to climb out of that pit again. But sooner or later, I start climbing again, always do.