Daughters of Abusive Mothers Community Group
For those of us whose mothers were (or still are) abusive to us. In a society that puts mothers on a pedestal it can often be lonely dealing with the feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, emptiness and grief of having an abusive mother. People with loving mothers often find it hard to believe or understand. Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with...
Hi All,
I have been shocked to learn there are so many of us out there. I am convinced that my mother is a very sick woman. She most likely has a personality disorder. Anything I can do she can do better. Sexually she has no filter and no boundaries. She starting giving me cocaine when I was 12 and started pimping me out when I was 18. She molded me to be a mini her.
By time I was 17 I was addicted to heroin and crack. At 18 I got arrested for the first time for driving while on heroin. Then my mother and I got busted buying coke- we went on probation. That's when I started going in and out of rehabs and half-way houses. Prostituting myself became a normal way of life for me because it was all I knew and I needed my drugs. To this day my mother cannot understand what she did wrong.
I feel the need to tell someone, anyone about the flashbacks I get just to get it out of me! She has recently gone senile (she sees people who aren't there and thinks everyone is trying to steal from her) and I cannot be there for her. I need to come to terms with the fact that I will prob never see her again. I now have my own daughter to care for.
I will be 34 very soon so that would make her 62. She had been on Rx drugs, street drugs and alcohol for like 40 something years. She has had many surgeries on her spine and I became a caregiver at age 8. Since I found out I was pregnant I have stopped using and after my daughter was born I went back to college. I am a straight A student and I graduated HS with straight D's. I really shouldn't have even graduated- I am positive they just wanted to get rid of me.
I cannot understand why my mother is the way she is and it took me many years to realize that everything she says is a lie and I am best when she is not in my life. However, she is my mother, she gave birth to me. Turning my back on her is unnatural but necessary! I could go on and on for days
I am just so grateful that I changed my life around. I am not the person my mother raised. I am a product of years and years of therapy. It's a miracle I am the person I am today. The thing is, it never goes away. Just when I thought I could handle talking to her I fell into a deep depression so I quickly cut her out again.
What sucks is the one person who was supposed to protect ,e from the evil of the world is the same person who introduced me to the evils of the world. Sex, drugs, etc. I plan on teaching my daughter to respect her body and value an education. My mom told me to marry a rich guy. That never happened!!
I am a good person and I have a pure heart. I have taken responsibility for my actions but it is so hard because I want to blame her! I was just a child. Even today I feel like a 19 year old trapped in a 33 year old body.
I am really looking forward to your comments so please do not hold back.
Thanks
I have been shocked to learn there are so many of us out there. I am convinced that my mother is a very sick woman. She most likely has a personality disorder. Anything I can do she can do better. Sexually she has no filter and no boundaries. She starting giving me cocaine when I was 12 and started pimping me out when I was 18. She molded me to be a mini her.
By time I was 17 I was addicted to heroin and crack. At 18 I got arrested for the first time for driving while on heroin. Then my mother and I got busted buying coke- we went on probation. That's when I started going in and out of rehabs and half-way houses. Prostituting myself became a normal way of life for me because it was all I knew and I needed my drugs. To this day my mother cannot understand what she did wrong.
I feel the need to tell someone, anyone about the flashbacks I get just to get it out of me! She has recently gone senile (she sees people who aren't there and thinks everyone is trying to steal from her) and I cannot be there for her. I need to come to terms with the fact that I will prob never see her again. I now have my own daughter to care for.
I will be 34 very soon so that would make her 62. She had been on Rx drugs, street drugs and alcohol for like 40 something years. She has had many surgeries on her spine and I became a caregiver at age 8. Since I found out I was pregnant I have stopped using and after my daughter was born I went back to college. I am a straight A student and I graduated HS with straight D's. I really shouldn't have even graduated- I am positive they just wanted to get rid of me.
I cannot understand why my mother is the way she is and it took me many years to realize that everything she says is a lie and I am best when she is not in my life. However, she is my mother, she gave birth to me. Turning my back on her is unnatural but necessary! I could go on and on for days
I am just so grateful that I changed my life around. I am not the person my mother raised. I am a product of years and years of therapy. It's a miracle I am the person I am today. The thing is, it never goes away. Just when I thought I could handle talking to her I fell into a deep depression so I quickly cut her out again.
What sucks is the one person who was supposed to protect ,e from the evil of the world is the same person who introduced me to the evils of the world. Sex, drugs, etc. I plan on teaching my daughter to respect her body and value an education. My mom told me to marry a rich guy. That never happened!!
I am a good person and I have a pure heart. I have taken responsibility for my actions but it is so hard because I want to blame her! I was just a child. Even today I feel like a 19 year old trapped in a 33 year old body.
I am really looking forward to your comments so please do not hold back.
Thanks
LOVING HUGS**
I learned a lot from there on how to overcome the burden of a mother that was not loving and yours seems to be an extreme case. We would not let other people get away with those things, so why do we think our mothers should get away with them? Think about it. You can not change her, but you can change how you react to her and you can love her, but you don't have to cater to her, we are not bound to them, just because they gave birth, we had no sayso, we would have choosen different mother?
Be strong and focus on your child and on yourself, and no that is not selfish, love yourself and then you can love the people who matter to you. Peace and Love :)