Daughters of Abusive Mothers Community Group
For those of us whose mothers were (or still are) abusive to us. In a society that puts mothers on a pedestal it can often be lonely dealing with the feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, emptiness and grief of having an abusive mother. People with loving mothers often find it hard to believe or understand. Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with...
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N mother contacts grandson
Posted on 12/08/13, 12:55 pm
My son,husband and I haven't contacted with my mother since January 2012. I set some boundaries with N mother and N sister.
I told them if they wanted to talk to me they needed to be nice. I left it up to them to contact me. My mother and sister never called or wrote. My sister sent nasty texts. I finally changed my cell number. I still have the same home phone number. My son received a birthday card from my mother in the mail and a check. He almost didn't open We was sorry it was late and that she had been under the weather. My mother and sister are in contact with my oldest son. He is treated with respect and love. My mother hasn't remembered my youngest son's birthday in years. We are never invited to family parties or wedding etc Last year we tried to get with them for Christmas. They wouldn't do it. We have been disowned and disinherited. My mother showed us her will My sister and oldest son are on the will We are not. I feel like my mother could cause trouble from the grave with her will. My sons are very close. I am afraid her disinheriting my youngest son could cause feelings.All the drama and stress affected our health. Since we went no contact our health is a lot better. We have accepted that they will never change. We think this is a red flag. It will be interesting to see what they do next if anything. My son feels he should thank her. He doesn't want any Christmas drama. I told him to send a thank you note after Christmas. We have had an on and off again relationship with my mother for the last five years. She has physically and verbally abused us. We have never called the police on her. I am very thankful we live 2 hours away from her and my sister. My husband, son and I just want a quiet peaceful Christmas. I have no desire to contact them.
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N mother contacts grandson
Posted on 12/08/13, 12:55 pm
My son,husband and I haven't contacted with my mother since January 2012. I set some boundaries with N mother and N sister.
I told them if they wanted to talk to me they needed to be nice. I left it up to them to contact me. My mother and sister never called or wrote. My sister sent nasty texts. I finally changed my cell number. I still have the same home phone number. My son received a birthday card from my mother in the mail and a check. He almost didn't open We was sorry it was late and that she had been under the weather. My mother and sister are in contact with my oldest son. He is treated with respect and love. My mother hasn't remembered my youngest son's birthday in years. We are never invited to family parties or wedding etc Last year we tried to get with them for Christmas. They wouldn't do it. We have been disowned and disinherited. My mother showed us her will My sister and oldest son are on the will We are not. I feel like my mother could cause trouble from the grave with her will. My sons are very close. I am afraid her disinheriting my youngest son could cause feelings.All the drama and stress affected our health. Since we went no contact our health is a lot better. We have accepted that they will never change. We think this is a red flag. It will be interesting to see what they do next if anything. My son feels he should thank her. He doesn't want any Christmas drama. I told him to send a thank you note after Christmas. We have had an on and off again relationship with my mother for the last five years. She has physically and verbally abused us. We have never called the police on her. I am very thankful we live 2 hours away from her and my sister. My husband, son and I just want a quiet peaceful Christmas. I have no desire to contact them.
If your sons are close, you may find that when your mom passes, that the oldest may equally share what he receives in the will with his younger brother.
Know that I care and I'm sorry your mom causes so much pain and hurt. Many, many hugs.
enchanting Thanks for your words of approval. It is nice to hear I am doing the right thing. I can't get involved with them again. I value the peace I have in my life.Wishing you a Merry Christmas. Sending you lots of love and a great big hug.
Enchanting I won't fight over the inheritance. I just think it is terrible how she is treating my youngest son. Both my sons are adults. My youngest son used to help my mother a lot . He would take off work and go with us to help her. My oldest son never visited my mother or helped her. My youngest son sees how he is being played. Last I hear my sister was trying to get my mother to change her will. My sister wants it all.
Thanks for your comments. Have a very Merry Christmas. Sending you lots of love and peace.