Daughters of Abusive Mothers Community Group
For those of us whose mothers were (or still are) abusive to us. In a society that puts mothers on a pedestal it can often be lonely dealing with the feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, emptiness and grief of having an abusive mother. People with loving mothers often find it hard to believe or understand. Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with...
Please someone, if you can, please help me. I am hurting so much now. Lots of things have happened in the past month and I don't know how I am going to handle it. I just don't know what to do. My heart literally aches and I feel so weak. My mother has always done things to me that have kind of messed me up, but I always thought that she just didn't think about how I felt. But she basically just told me that she wants to let me know that she is suffering, and then proceeded to try to take things away from me. So the purpose is just to hurt me. It is just so dumb. I got into a good college and she doesn't want to pay for it. We have the money but she doesn't want to make the sacrifice. That's what she said. But since she says that she is trying to make me be in pain, that hurts more than the action itself. Because why would my mother just want to hurt me? For working hard and getting into a good college?! I just can't believe she said that is the purpose of her actions.
I may cross-post this in another board because I want as much feedback as I can get. Thank you for your responses...
I may cross-post this in another board because I want as much feedback as I can get. Thank you for your responses...
Please read the traits of Narcissistic Mothers again...and yes sadly they DO want to hurt us..Why..?
They enjoy provoking a reaction in you
They enjoy hurting you,full stop
They like to humiliate you and make you feel worthless,I've no doubt this helps them feel better about themselves.
You're going to have to face some hard facts hun.If you want to go to college then you are going to have to pay your own way..your mother is not going to help you,unless theres some way you can shame her into doing it..and who wants to stoop to their level anyway...
Is your Dad around?What does he think of all this?
Try and find out what grants you may be entitled to,and if you really want this you are going to have to consider working part time as well.
I'm so sorry hun for the way she's trying to sabotage your dreams.
You're right,you've worked hard and done great!
but don't expect an abusive Mother to ever acknowledge you..she can't,she's too into herself.
I hope you find a way to go to college,and I hope rather than kick you down,her attitude will make you more determined.
Also I don't expect there's any chance of you moving out just yet..but when the time and the finances are right,if it were me,I'd be running for the hills.
In the meantime,spend as little time around her as you can.
Hugs
Sharonxoxo
1. Are you vocal and speak up more often?
You can make it on your own, show her. Many people go to college without their parents help. You are your own person, live your life and don't look back. Stay in touch with your mom if you can, otherwise just do what is good for you. It is not your fault that she is the way she is.
Have a good life and God bless you.