Rambling? No, I think not, just something you needed to get off your chest hun, hugs

I agree with Denise, its good to get it off your chest. I would, if its OK, like to make some suggestions as I have been filled with rage against another also and know what it feels like inside. My situation was different but the emotion is the same. First, I encourage you to recognize how crappy it feels to have all these awful feelings inside you. It feels like ...., I know. So, that being said, its important to work on removing those awful feelings from you. You have no control of how that awful woman behaves, she has to deal with her own issues. Its very apparent to me that she is unbalanced. She is definitely dealing with some issues of her own, which she probably isn't even aware of. So, heres how I lived though my experience. OK, first you have to recognize that is one mentally sick individual. Its not an excuse, it just helps you understand that the issues are hers. It doesn't look like she has conrol over her own nasty personality. Most people with an personality disorder aren't even aware and can't help it. So, once I realized my person was mentally ill, I looked at her with a different perspective. I didn't want to claw her eyes out anymore, I just felt very sorry for her that her life was so empty and she choose to sit in it and do nothing positive to help herself. You can't do anything about that. Except make a choice to deal with her like a mentally ill person. I don't accept her bad behavior, I talk to her like a 3 year old having a tantrum. I say (in a sweet little voice) things like, " now, that wasn't a very nice thing to say, you need to apologize and think of a better way to say that" or "if you ask nicely and say please, I'd be happy to get you a cup of tea". Its rediculous, but I feel like if shes going to act like a spoiled child, she should be treated like one and almost re-parented her to acceptable behavior(then behind her back, you can laugh your head off). I'm being mean. Anyway, it really helped me take my hateful feelings and put a different spin of them. I still don't like my person, I probably never will, but I don't have all that negative inner turmoil eating me up anymore. Forgiveness may come much later, when you truely recognize how sick she is and how pathetic her life is. It makes you almost feel sad for her. Hope this helps. Big hug, Marge

Thanks Denise it did help.I just keep thinking about it all the time and winding myself up.I'm going to take on board what Marge has said and how to handle this.

Marge,Thank you so much for your story i will do as you suggested and hopefully move on from these feelings.I just can't believe a Mother can be this way to her only child.

Thank you Hugs.Sue xxxx

OMG how could she be so uncaring towards her own son, i agree with Marge she must have some deep issues, i wonder if Death scares the hell out of her, there is a lady who i know that can't handle illness or death, if one of her friends is ill she won't go visit them, if someone she knows dies she won't go to the funeral, she just can't handle it, maybe your Nan feels like that. My nan once said to me that when you reach a certain age you feel like your waiting for Death to come knocking at your door, my mum is now 75 and i hope she don't feel like that. Getting back to your nan, if spending christmas with her is not want you really want to do then let her know that, tell her how your felt about the way she treated your Dad (her son) when he needed her most, tell her you can't show her love when she herself has trouble showing it.
take care kacs x

Thanks Kacs,I think it might come to that,telling her.I think i've only spoke to her once or twice since Dad has been gone.So she bound to make a a comment.Hugs Sue xx

I lost my Granny March 2007, Don't get me wrong.. I loved her!! But she was a very selfish woman. My momma told me when she was a little girl how selfish Granny was when it come to her or the kids.. then as she got older, she got a little better.. only to have it come back with vengeance in her older years.. I remember how BAD she talked down to my Pa Henry.. it was terrible.. my momma used to say.. "she just better be glad we love her, cause sometimes we sure don't like her" :) Everything was always about her and only her. I think we all have some kind of NOT GOOD experience like this.. what's sad.. is that her being like this.. kept her from getting so much MORE LOVE!!!! She just didn't know what she was missing!!! I sure hope things go well. Let us know how everything turns out!! God Bless you!! Lori

Thanks Lori,I will let you know how it goes.We think people are like us and they just aren't.I suppose it would be boring if we were all the same.Hugs and lots of love Sue xxx