For all the new ladies that just found out about thier so's, dh's, partners or what not.
The first stage i do notice is the Grieving of the ideal life. Doesnt mean it will all go away but thats what i noticed. This stage includes the emotional trust ie. lies, hiding and hurt that comes out. Which may need some couples counseling, self counseling or thearpy to help as well. Fits of crying, stress, nasauea, and depression.

For the men in your life they need to be patient during this time and not push. When i first found out. I set up some boundaries meaning this is the line dont cross it. Such as here is time to dress or let me know on when you want to. Always ask before so there is no culture shock or omg what are you doing questioning.
Next i made it clear my clothes is to be asked if wanting to borrow or if i lend it i want it back. Then i made sure he had his own stuff. So there would be no fighting over clothes or stretched clothes toboot.

The second stage i noticed was the loss of intimacy cause the Kid in candy store thing or child want not needs thing made it totally unsatisfying to be pushed on my self esteem of things.This is where you question your own identity and its all confusing. You are You still . Dont let the wierdness take that away. Your a women and as well as the you that you have always been.

Crying is normal, its apart of the whole thing. Anger is as well. It doesnt all go away but it can be better with support.
Now the new stage that i m in is the parital acceptance and better communication using i statements my wants and needs. Litsing and compromise. Not always on my part but his as well.
In between the stages there is the bathroom the size of an airplanes that you feel like your in and cant breathe.
But coming here and venting helps. Researching sometimes helps not always. It can make you depressed but for everytime you think on cding or overly focus. See below:

Make time for you to do something special a bath, a project, spending time with family or going out for a cup of coffee. Cause the stress of always concentrating on the cding and not life is hard on ones body, spirit and mind.
So there needs to be me time, couple time and then the cd time. Or if you choose to not be involved a time for him in a room a few times a week etc.. There is tons of alternatives.

But first the hiding must stop, the lies have to. There should be honesty and a good look at wives bill of rights or tons of sit downs may be needed.

Take your time and dont rush through the process of grieving or anything. For me the cding and my hubbys poor behaviors ie bad with cding and everything almost broke this marriege apart.. Its still hard at times.
With counseling and communication the love can remain. NOt saying that bad behaviors in bi or cheating are allowed or good thing. They can cause such harm.

Just cause your bi doesnt mean your not minogomos a much agreed upon point. But in all the research i did cders are hetro.

Plus feel free to reach out and just talk..

hugs
carrie