Cross Dressing Community Group
This group is for cross dressers trying to find themselves and for spouses or partners trying to understand them.
Hey I am a CD, I told my wife about it before I got married. She didn´t like it but we still got married.
I am a closet CD but have no interest to take it futher I am happy to dress every so often in private.
I don´t ask to go out in public dressed with my wife, I do not ask her to see me dressed. I only want her to accept the idea that I might sometimes dress in private when nobody else is present.
In a recent conversation it became clear to me that the idea that I could dress even in private made her feel disgust. I love my wife, I have a child and my CD behaviour does not physically manifest itself in our relationship in any way.
But I want to be honest and yet I have not told her about the few occasions when I have dressed, in order to avoid argument. In a way not telling is a form of lying.
I hate that I have justified to myself that it is ok to lie. The justification is good, I don´t hurt anybody when I do it it is completely private, it does not effect how I feel about my wife but lying is bad.
I am a closet CD but have no interest to take it futher I am happy to dress every so often in private.
I don´t ask to go out in public dressed with my wife, I do not ask her to see me dressed. I only want her to accept the idea that I might sometimes dress in private when nobody else is present.
In a recent conversation it became clear to me that the idea that I could dress even in private made her feel disgust. I love my wife, I have a child and my CD behaviour does not physically manifest itself in our relationship in any way.
But I want to be honest and yet I have not told her about the few occasions when I have dressed, in order to avoid argument. In a way not telling is a form of lying.
I hate that I have justified to myself that it is ok to lie. The justification is good, I don´t hurt anybody when I do it it is completely private, it does not effect how I feel about my wife but lying is bad.
Your wife maybe one of them. I understand cause i m a so. You may want acceptance fully but if you hide this your going to hurt her more when she finds the stack of clothes or walks in. Having information at hand would be good for her at later date. Trust me she may not know what a cder is.
Which is why she is so disgusted. Its only recently that there is alot of information out there.
The cdso on yahoo is a good place for her. Its only for wives and so's only!
Also there is some information i could give you and books out there. But she isnt going to be comfortable and you "lying" to protect her may end up hurting her. But you must also be patient with her if you do bring it to the table so to speak. Cause once its out more there will be tons of changes, crying , hurt, laughter sometimes and pain on occassion. Its not like any one of us wives or partners really know what we are getting into unless its properly presanted to us.
Just my thoughts.
ps. most cders are homebodies its a few that arent or should say small percantage..
hugs
carrie
It really hurts me to say this but I have to consider that separation may be an option. I have a young son who really adores me and I really love my wife however much she may insult me beacuse of who I am.
I have often thought that maybe I was not meant to get married but then I look at my son and realise that despite everything I am happy I did.
No-one has known about until recently when i told a VERY special friend.
My wife does not know, and i do not feel the need to tell.
It has been my special little secret and continues to be so.
I too have no urge for my wife to see me dressed or go out with me dressed.
My special friend has seen me, in a playful manner, and offered advice.
If i never achieve my goal of going out in public,..seriously,..it will not matter, as I still enjoy being alone,..and dressed for my own 'pleasure'
dont beat yourself up about it, unless you perhaps feel a need to take it further. otherwise,...in immortal Beatles words,..."let it Be", and enjoy :-)
Even though she has no interest in seeing me, she does wash my femme clothes when she does the laundry.
I cannot change others I can only change myself, and I have now come to believe that I can only change myself within certain paramaters, that said all I can say is thank God that my natural tendency is to be an open minded person.