Cross Dressing Community Group
This group is for cross dressers trying to find themselves and for spouses or partners trying to understand them.
I have come to the conclusion that false guilt is one of the most soul destroying things that one can have and if one continues to harbour false guilt and feel it strongly it can literally destroy your life.
Guilt about cross dressing is 'false guilt' in my book, why? Beacuse in my personal moral code for something to be 'wrong' it must involve the intent to physically or mentally cause harm to another being or onesself. And whatever the reasons for cross dressing whether it you regard it as positive or negative, the act of doing it does not harm others or onesself.
The problem is that if you feel false guilt about something you do it leads to soul destroying internal contradictions and in the case of CDs this can result in acts which one may correctly feel guilty for such as lying and obsessive compulsive behaviour.
Unfortunately the psychological damage of living with having internal contradictions through most of one's childhood result in even people who openly cross dress, suffering from bouts of depression, self hate and self doubt.
For those who are very much closet CDers I suggest the following steps in order to live a healthier life.
1. Accept your CDing and realise that doing it does not make you a bad person. I did this after reading some information about it on the internet and creating my flyingfree alias.
2. Share the fact that you cross dress with people. If like me you are happy to continue to cross dress in private then share it with people you can trust and are able to accept this about you. I shared my cross dressing with my wife but she has never been happy with it. I recently shared the fact that I do it with my mother because after I left home she became a counseller so I believed she would be more accepting of this information.
3. Set out to pick your own time and place to cross dress, take control of it so that you no regard this behaviour as a compultion and your thoughts about it as obsessive.
Remember in the end false guilt if left to fester can destroy you.
2.
Guilt about cross dressing is 'false guilt' in my book, why? Beacuse in my personal moral code for something to be 'wrong' it must involve the intent to physically or mentally cause harm to another being or onesself. And whatever the reasons for cross dressing whether it you regard it as positive or negative, the act of doing it does not harm others or onesself.
The problem is that if you feel false guilt about something you do it leads to soul destroying internal contradictions and in the case of CDs this can result in acts which one may correctly feel guilty for such as lying and obsessive compulsive behaviour.
Unfortunately the psychological damage of living with having internal contradictions through most of one's childhood result in even people who openly cross dress, suffering from bouts of depression, self hate and self doubt.
For those who are very much closet CDers I suggest the following steps in order to live a healthier life.
1. Accept your CDing and realise that doing it does not make you a bad person. I did this after reading some information about it on the internet and creating my flyingfree alias.
2. Share the fact that you cross dress with people. If like me you are happy to continue to cross dress in private then share it with people you can trust and are able to accept this about you. I shared my cross dressing with my wife but she has never been happy with it. I recently shared the fact that I do it with my mother because after I left home she became a counseller so I believed she would be more accepting of this information.
3. Set out to pick your own time and place to cross dress, take control of it so that you no regard this behaviour as a compultion and your thoughts about it as obsessive.
Remember in the end false guilt if left to fester can destroy you.
2.
5.)Dont obseese about it meaning be/keep responsiblities, and family time important.
6.) Spend couple time/family time
7.) Be appropriate on dress if you know your size litsin to it dont wear to small clothes or slutty ones be age appropriate.
8.) have fun safely meaning to be safe
And false guilt, if left to fester can destroy YOU hah? Speaking from experience are YOU?
Does such self destruction impact on others by way of DELIBERATELY inflicting upon as well?
Answers to all of these questions, very much appreciated, and from YOU only by the way.
I have found myself that in the process of accepting my cross dressing I have the urge to push the boundaries, certainly I want to do it more often, which is fine up to a point. I have ideas about doing it in public also, but I am not sure whether I would actually do that.
In my own case I think this is just a phase I am going through and once I have settled into feeling happy with myself as a cross dresser I will find my balance.
Thank you for the suggestions.